Page 8 of Take What You Want

We just need to catch an agent's attention. Just one.

“Why the long face?” Jane nudges me.

I shake myself out of it and glance at her. “Just thinking.”

“Should I be scared?”

I flip her off and point to her textbooks sitting open at the bar. “Get back to work.”

“You don’t tell me what to do.”

“Oh yeah?” I invade her space and smirk at the small step she relents. She scans my face, her eyes dancing back and forth between my own, taken aback by my close proximity. “I just did.”

She fidgets with the hem of her jacket but keeps her chin high, almost at eye level with me. Challenging me like we find ourselves doing more and more these days. “Doesn’t mean I’ll listen.”

“You sure about that?”

“Positive.”

A cymbal clash assaults my ear drums and both Jane and I clamp our hands over our heads. Onstage, Walker holds his hands out in apology, cringing as he picks his dropped symbol off the floor and mutters to Hayden, who helps get it reset. Reid makes no move to help as he meticulously adjusts the strap on his guitar.

“Better get up there before something else falls apart,” Jane says. “They need their glue.” Her hand grazes mine as she walks past me toward her spot at the bar, and it’s weird that I even notice that.

As I walk over to my best friends, I feel the weight of her words sink in with heaviness that they shouldn’t. Am I the gluein this group? I’m the one who brought Reid into the fold, but he’s since formed his own connections with the guys. We’re a strong foursome. Our bond goes beyond just making and playing music together.

We have a brotherhood.

I’m the front man, but that doesn’t mean I’m the piece holding us together anywhere except on stage.

The collar of my shirt suddenly feels tight, and I pull at it. A restlessness begins to buzz under my skin as I hear my mother’s shouts from months ago echo faintly.

Let’s face it, I’m only here because of the boys. If it weren’t for them, I would’ve left you a long time ago.

Watching my parents’ marriage fall apart has taught me a lot of things, but one stands out the most: I don’t like being caught in the crossfires of a war between two people that I love. Being the glue that held the shattered pieces of my parents' marriage together until it left them both bloody and resentful is not something I ever wanted. And I don’t want to be in that position again.

“You good?” Reid asks, stepping up to the edge of the stage and eyeing me carefully.

I plaster on an easy smile and pluck the strings on his guitar. “Just thinking about which one of us Cassidy is going to eye-fuck through tonight’s show.”

The mention of our classmate that has been trying to sleep with both of us distracts him, and before I know it, the bar manager is coming out of his office to get our soundcheck going.

By the time the bar is overflowing to the brim, the lights are low, and the four of us step on stage, all worries melt away.

Because I’m with my brothers.

And I know in my heart we’re going to get our shot.

3

JANE

Nikolai: I have my solo contract and I’d like you to look over it for me

Me: Surely Arun has lawyers who can do that for you

Nikolai: But I don’t trust any of them like I do you

Iwish those words didn’t penetrate the armor I wear when dealing with Nikolai, but they do. It’s been almost ten years since everything fell apart between us and we’ve managed to build a sense of friendship back up.