Page 46 of Take What You Want

Oh, she thinks so, huh?I haven’t been able to get her out of my head for the past two weeks.

Fucking hell.

I didn’t thinkI’d ever get another bike after I sold that first one. The craving for it never hit after I realized how lonely it was to ride by myself.

Rides with Jane ruined that sense of peace I had for myself before that first night I convinced her to go for a ride. And another night.

It turned into a weekly ritual for us.

She started to pack snacks for us and I’d drive us to parks outside the city. We’d get eaten alive by mosquitoes but neither complained because it was our little adventure together.

And when I lost her, riding was empty. It just served as a reminder of what I had fucked up and I hated it.

But after the shooting, that craving hit again. And sure, maybe I liked the painful reminder of Jane every time I straddled the seat and the wind hugged by back instead of her.

So I bought a new one and immediately posted a video of me weaving through LA traffic on social media.

I liked the attention, sure.

But there was one person's attention I was hoping I’d get.

And it did the job.

Jane had texted me only an hour after that video was posted, asking if I was trying to die and calling me an idiot. That text had been the first thing that had made me smile in the months of utter darkness I had been living in after witnessing something no one should ever have to.

Even though she was in a relationship at the time and I didn’t want to ruin that for her, I still wanted her attention. I wanted her to reach out. Wanted to know that she still cared.

Thatsomeonestill cared.

And she did.

Just like I still do.

11

NIKOLAI

Arun stands in my driveway, leaning against his silver Audi, typical navy suit stretched tightly across his broad arms. He shakes his head slightly when he sees the way Jane is wrapped around me and I already know what he’s thinking.

I park and shut off the bike. Gently patting Jane’s thigh, I signal for her to get off first. She does so elegantly, like she does this everyday. My hair sticks to my forehead when I pull my helmet off and relieve Jane of hers.

“Your driver beat you here,” Arun points out. “Is there a reason you didn’t let Miss Walker ride in the enclosed vehicle?”

Jane juts out a hip as if to say,See?

“Miss Walker likes my bike,” I say, annunciating theMiss Walkerpart and enjoying the scowl on her face.

Arun looks at Jane, who shakes her head at him. Little traitor.

“It’s good to see you again.” He pulls her into a brief hug, and a thump of jealousy hits me square in the chest.

“Likewise,” Jane says. She unzips my jacket and hands it back to me. I want to tell her to keep it for the next ride, but I don't push my luck just yet.

“Good flight in?”

“It was fine…”

I tune out their conversation and lean against my bike, crossing my ankles and tilting my head toward the sun. It heats my face and I relish in it. There isn’t a single day that I take seeing the sun for granted.

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