Page 110 of Take What You Want

I hid it from everyone until I couldn’t anymore because I didn’t want to burden anyone and taint the image of who they all knew me as.

The fun one.

The happy one.

But I broke.

And it’s okay, because the important thing is I stitched myself back together. Sure, I didn’t make the best choices and pushed the limits of my own mortality at times. But I found my way back to a newfound sense of happiness. I’d never be the same as I was before Milo’s graduation and witnessing a massacre at the hands of another human, but I found a new normal for myself.

Jane wraps her arms around my neck, her front warm against my back, and I cling to her. She tucks her head into the crook of my neck and I let my own rest against hers.

“What did you think?” I ask. “Honestly.”

She chuckles softly, breath hot against my skin, as she says, “Like I’d give you anything less.” She sobers up. “Both were incredible.You’reincredible.”

“But?” I sense it coming.

“But I liked the first one more.”

Me too. This, what’s happening between me and Jane, feels like falling in love for the first time all over again. And the song is my way of making sense of it. “I hoped you would. It’s about you.” Like everything else.

She straightens and I turn around on the stool and pull her into my lap. She hesitates, but relents and brackets her thighs on either side of my own. Her arms tangle around my shoulders and I grip her hips, kneading the skin softly.

“You can’t say things like that to me,” she says, eyes scanning my face.

“Why not?”

She stutters for a moment, as if she’s searching for a reason I can’t. “I guess just don’t say it if you don’t mean it.”

I shake my head. When is she going to learn…

“Jane…” I cup her face and bring her attention to me. “Every single song I’ve ever written is about you and I don’t think I even knew it. But right here, right now, holding you in my arms and looking into your eyes, I know in my heart it’s true.” I swallow past the lump in my throat. “I’ve never felt the words like I feel them now when thinking about you.”

Her emerald eyes turn misty and she presses her lips to mine. It’s a soft, gentle kiss. I pull her closer, needing to hold her as if the pool party and right now were all a dream and I’m going to wake up alone again.

But this is real. Jane’s kissing me and allowing me back into her heart little by little.

The doorbell slices through the air like a blade and we jerk apart in surprise. Her cheeks are flushed as she asks, “Are you expecting someone?”

“No,” I say, grabbing my phone and pulling up the security feed from the front porch. The moment the camera loads, I snort. “Of course.”

“Who is it?” Jane cranes her neck and I turn the phone toward her.

She rolls her eyes and climbs off my lap. “Great timing as always.”

“I’m feeling very neglected lately,”Reid says as he leans back in one of the armchairs in the living room. “Now that you have this one to occupy your attention.” He points his whiskey toward Jane.

She smirks and takes a sip of red wine. “Jealous?”

Reid ignores her comment but we all know he is. He’s always been possessive of those he loves, and even though he’s always looked out for Jane too, he rides the hardest for me.

“You know I could blow up your spot right now with your brother, Little Walker. Don’t tempt me.”

“That would require him taking your calls. And he doesn’t do that anymore, does he?” She tilts her head to the side in that predatory way of hers when she sees a challenge and it gets me hard.

Reid glares at her. “Doesn’t mean he can’t read a text.”

“You’d do that to him?” She nods her head in my direction playfully. Reid cracks his neck from side to side, mouth shut, and Jane smiles. “That’s what I thought.”

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