Page 104 of Take What You Want

“You’re rebounding from your ex with Nikolai.”

Wrong. But also, notentirelywrong. It’s more like Liam was the rebound, but semantics.

I rub the goosebumps on my arms. “It’s not like that.”

She holds her hands up. “I’m not judging. If it makes you happy, then I’m all for it. You know I care about you. But…” She glances around my shoulder, too short to see over top of it. “Does your brother know?”

My mouth is dry as I shake my head.

Scar steps closer and her face softens. “I know you’ve known Nikolai longer than I have, so I don’t feel like I need to be the one to tell you to be careful. You’re a big girl and can make your own decisions, but I also know you’re aware of how he is with women. And I guess I just don’t want to see friendships fracture more than they have for a rebound. Your brother…” She looks down at her feet. “He might act like he’s fine with how things are between him and Reid, but he’s hurting. He’sbeenhurting, and he misses his friend whether he admits it or not. And I don’t want to see him lose another if Nikolai fucks you over.”

“He’s not going to.” As soon as I say it, I’m surprised by the assuredness of my tone. That’s been my biggest fear, and there’s still a small voice in the back of my mind telling me to be careful, but just only minutes ago, I felt the shift. The willingness to give some of my trust back to him. He’s made me promises, and it’s time I finally allow him to follow through on them. I can’t keep doing us both a disservice by denying what is inevitable.

“But I know Walker’s going to freak when he finds out,” I say, “and I’ll do what I can to tame the impact. But please, just don’t say anything to him right now.”

Scar immediately shakes her head. “Jane?—”

“I know, I know, it’s shitty to ask you to keep this from him. I hate it, and if our roles were reversed, I wouldn’t want to either. But I just ask you for a little bit of time. This thing with Nikolai… it’s complicated. And we need some time to figure out what we’re doing before we tell him.”

“Wait, is this not just a rebound?”

“Like I said, it’s complicated.”

Scar purses her lips. “I won’t lie to your brother. We don’t do that to each other.”

And even though right now, I wish she would just agree outright and I could walk away knowing that mine and Nikolai’s secret is intact, I’m also so grateful that my brother has her. It’s the kind of statement I’d want to hear from his partner.

“I get it,” I say. “Then all I’m asking is that you don’t offer up this little nugget of information freely.”

She snorts and looks at her boyfriend. “I won’t tell him right now, but if he asks, I won’t lie.”

“That’s fair.”

“And I’m not keeping this from him indefinitely. You and Nikolai need to tell him.”

“I know. We will. We just…” I look over my shoulder at him. He leans back on his hands, head tilted toward the sky with his eyes closed. A small smile lifts the corners of his mouth, like he’s simply grateful for the sun shining down and bathing him in its warmth. I turn back to Scar and whatever she must see on my face has her eyes widening.

“It really isn’t just a rebound,” she muses.

My answer is so faint I’m not sure if she’ll hear me. “No, it’s not.”

She grabs her can of Red Bull and takes a long drink. “Well, fuck.”

I can’t help it. I let out a loud laugh, bending over the counter. Scar stares at me like I’ve lost my mind and maybe I have. It’s felt like it lately. Isn’t that how it always is when you start liking someone? You think you’re sane and capable of rational decisions and then you let them bend you over in the bathroom at a party with your friends and brother who are none the wiser.

“What’s so funny?” Carter calls out, shielding her eyes from the sun as she peers at us. “Am I missing out on something?”

Everyone around the pool is looking in at us, or at me, curiously. I wave them off and grab another drink. I then say to Scar, “You coming out?”

“I’ll be out in a minute.”

I take a good look at her. She usually keeps her face carefully blank, hiding away her emotions, but she has dark circles under her eyes and her shoulders sag as if the weight of the entire world is hanging on her small frame.

But that’s not what gives me a pause. It’s the way she’s staring longingly at the vodka soda in my hand. Almost as if she stares at it hard enough, it’ll magically fly from my hand to hers and she can cling to it.

Scar’s been sober for as long as I’ve known her and normally, she seems to be oblivious to the drinks around her. But she almost seems in a trance and worry gnaws at my gut.

“Scar,” I say gently, “are you okay?”

---