Page 10 of Take What You Want

And unlike how work used to be my haven, even that has grown wearing over time.

“I guess…” I say, enjoying the early summer breeze that sifts through my hair as we walk.

“It’s not like you have to sleep with him. Although if you do, you have my full support,” she teases, bumping her shoulder in mine.

“Hallie!”

She laughs, the sound getting carried away in the wind. “You know I’d never do that.”

Alright, so when I said no one knows about my relationship with Nikolai, Hallie is the exception. It took years of friendship and trust for me to open up to her about it since he’s a public figure. But one drunken night when photos of him out at a club with yet another woman circulated, I broke down.

“I know, I’m just messing with you,” she says, pulling up short at a crosswalk. “But I think you should take him up on it. You better have a suitcase packed and ready to go at the office tomorrow, alright?”

The signal changes, and she starts across, eyeing me as she goes.

“We’ll see,” I say, waving her off as I head to the left toward my own building.

But as I walk the last few blocks alone with nothing but my thoughts, I know what she’s saying is true. It would be good to get out of the city for the weekend, and I haven’t seen Walker since Labor Day last year.

Haven’t seen Nikolai since then either.

It would be good to do so, and his words from earlier echo.

I don’t trust them like I do you.

I wish I could say the same thing to him, but I can’t. Hard as I’ve tried over the years to rebuild that just like we have our friendship, I can’t say that I trust Nikolai Brooks like I wish I could.

But if he’s reaching out for help, I don’t want to reject him.

Fetching my keys from my bag as I arrive at my building, I pull my phone out alongside it and shoot him a text before I allow myself to back out.

Me: Fine. I’ll see you tomorrow.

9 YEARS AGO

JANE

“Come out and dance,” Grace begs, sloshing her drink over the rim of her red cup. I quickly sidestep the mess, not wanting the bottom of my heels to get even more sticky than they already are.

“I’m fine over here,” I say, taking a sip of my own drink. It’s sour and burns going down, but hey, it’s what we could all get our hands on tonight. Brent’s parents are out of town this weekend, so almost our entire senior class is stuffed into his family's home.

Poor bastard is going to have hell to clean tomorrow.

“You never want to dance,” Grace whines, frowning at me but her eyes are unfocused. We pregamed with the guys before coming here, but clearly, she’s not holding it as well as the rest of us.

I shrug, curving my shoulders in as I lean against a wall in the corner of the room. I like observing at large parties. The smaller ones, the ones my brother usually hosts when our parents are gone for the night or the ones Nikolai has when his parents are fighting too much to pay attention to what’s going on in their basement, those are the ones I like. I still would never dance atthem, but I definitely don’t feel like it when my skin is too tight over my body like I do now.

Thankfully, it’s January in Pittsburgh, so I can get away with jeans and an oversized jacket over my tank top. I’m one of the most covered up people here as the air grows stifling with sweaty bodies. But I tuck my jacket tight, taking another sip and waiting for it to help lower some of the insecurities crawling up my throat.

“No one’s stopping you from going out there,” I tell my friend. “Brent’s out there and you’ve been waiting for a time to talk to him. Go start with dancing.”

Grace grabs my hand that is currently white knuckling my jacket shut and tugs on it. “Come with me! C’mon, you told me yourself that I needed to drag you out of your shell more!”

“I most definitely do not recall that.”Yes, I do actually…

“I saw Davis earlier,” she says, smirking and gauging my reaction.

I steel my face into a neutral expression as I take a swig. It’s not that I particularly like Davis all that much. He’s cute enough, and in a lot of the same AP classes as me. We can have a good debate with each other and both will be attending Ivy Leagues this fall.

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