Page 84 of His One True Wish

“Easy, killer.”

“Look, I have met every woman that you have dated more than once.”

“Oh, you think so.”

“Look, you know I don’t give a shit who you sleep with, but you sound sad, man. And I just want to say that maybe if this woman made you feel something good, you should follow up on it. You deserve good things in your life.”

I let those words sink in for a minute. Did I deserve good things? I’d left home at eighteen and never gone back to help my mom. She was a good woman, still married to my abusive dad. I couldn’t get her to leave, so I did the only thing I could, I sent money, lots of money. They say a son inherits the sins of his father, and I suppose the only way I could be sure I didn’t become him was never picking a woman who would stay around long enough for me to hurt her.

“Did I just stun you into silence with my wisdom,” Miles asked, his tone playful, but I could hear an undercurrent of concern in his voice.

“Yeah, that’s enough relationship talk for me today, but I appreciate you. Are we supposed to hug now?”

“Totally.”

“All right, love you, man. When Ronnie calls, will you kindly answer it, and do me a favor and be extra sweet, no gruff bullshit. Her crush on you is as big as the ocean, and she hasn’t been the same since you moved.”

Ronnie was about sixty and helped raise every one of the Decker boys while working as the lead administrative assistant in the company. She considered me an honorary brother, and Miles wasn’t lying, she liked me best. “The fact you think I’d be a dick to that good woman hurts me.”

“I don’t know. I was just wondering if your social skills disintegrated while you were mountain-manning it out in the woods.”

“Bye, Miles. I’ll see you soon.”

We hung up, and I stared at the fire. Well, that happened. FuckingFort Lauderdale. I cringed thinking of the everlasting sun and then sighed. The fire danced in front of my eyes and I felt the urge to pick up one of Angel’s blue blankets and just sleep a while. But there is no sleep for the weary.

I realized if I left Smoke River soon, things would be a lot easier with Billie. I could just leave. She didn’t want me here. She had a copy of the lease. I knew I could fight her to legally stay, but I felt the fight in my body leave. I had the means to fight and win, but I didn’t want Billie to lose.

Billie was right. I kept secrets from her. I didn’t tell her about Angel, because I knew she’d hate me for it. Hell, I hated myself sometimes, but for years I’d done as I pleased, and it just didn’t matter.

And the money was fun, but sometimes it felt like my life belonged to someone else.

Billie Prescott walked in here with her big brown eyes and made me question everything.

She was right. I lied about everything but how she made me feel. I was used to being with women who made my body feel good. Billie touched my body and my heart. She melted my long-frozen core. I felt changed, and it scared me. What had she done to me?

I looked at the fire and remembered the way the light danced across her skin. Her soft, warm belly had felt like home under the palm of my hand. Her breath against my neck made me feel young. Laying with her reminded me of the boy I was before I left Modesto. The boy who believed he could create a happily-ever-after for myself once upon a time.

Cam nudged my leg.

“Isn’t that right, my girl?”

She sat at my feet, nose in the air, brown eyes searching mine.

“I know. I miss her, too, but she’s gone. Besides, Miles needs us.”

Cam tilted her head to the side, making me wonder how much she understood.

“Don’t give me a guilt trip. She had to go home. I fucked up, and there is nothing I can do.”

Another head tilt.

“I know,” I said. “It wasn’t me. It was Angel.”

Cam sighed and sunk to her belly.

“I don’t need it from you, too,” I said, walking into the kitchen. “I know damn well that I have no one to blame but myself.”

I knew it was silly, but I wasn’t going to tell Cam yet that she’d be staying with Beau. I texted Mason to let him know I was heading to the airfield. I had some clean-up to do before I packed up and left town.

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