“Seriously? What is up with the raccoons? They were always super cute when I was here.”
“Raccoons are never super cute,” he said. “They are fucking monsters.”
“I think we need to agree to disagree,” I said, smiling.
“Seriously, they are like big rats with tails. Come on, let’s get these moved.”
Axl and I got to work relocating all my boxes. Cam darted in circles around us, clearly happy to have her paws out of the cold snow. Growing up, we used the barn as a storage shed. A row of silver trash cans sat along the back wall where we stowed rakes and other gardening tools. We had a stand-up gas lawnmower and an olddriving one that didn’t work. Mason promised mom he would fix it, but that never happened.
The barn under Axl’s care was a drastically improved space. For one thing, pallets covered parts of the floor. There was also an entirely new floor across a majority of the barn with a shiny work bench in the back. Evenly spaced tools hung from the walls. They looked well-organized and pristine.
“Looks good in here,” I said as we shifted the last set of boxes. I stretched my arms, moving them back and forth at my elbow like a hinge. My muscles shook; I was so damn tired.
“Thanks.” He looked around the space as if surveying. “Part of the deal with Louise is that I take care of the place.”
“That’s great. She loves stuff like that,” I said before I could stop myself. What the hell was wrong with me? Axl used the present tense. He definitely didn’t know about Gran, and I’d made it even more weird by not telling him she was gone.
“She didn’t really give me a honey-do list,” he continued, a half-smile across his face. “I’ve just done things that make sense to me.”
I opened my mouth to correct him, but I couldn’t say the words. “That’s so great,” I said, my stomach twisting in knots at my reply.
I thought about the re-posted fence line outside and the well-kept drive. He made improvements for Gran, and she wasn’t here to see it. I wanted to tell him, but I couldn’t. The words were too raw. I was liable to sob and I couldn’t do that, not tonight.
“I send her emails about once a month with an update.”
“You do?” I asked.
“Yeah, but she doesn’t give me a lot of direction. I am going to assume that’s good news.
I was stunned. Axl wrote Gran emails, and she never answered?
Axl looked around the barn as if running through a mental checklist in his mind. “I think we are done.”
“We are?”
“Yeah. Your stuff will be safe in here. You ready to go inside and get warm? We should get out of the cold. Cam’s ready to go in, too, aren’t you, girl?” He stood under one of the new overhead floodlights,shadows crossing his face, his lips curling into a smile. Cam rubbed her body up against his legs.
“Ladies first.” Axl held open the door for Cam and me.
The bracing cold wind stung my cheeks as soon as I stepped out of the barn. I walked across the drive, making sure each of my footsteps landed. My boots did not have the best traction.
I should have told him about Gran, I thought with every step. Telling him was the right thing to do, and now that I hadn’t told him, the time for truth-telling had passed.
I opened the kitchen door with Axl a step behind me. Cam darted in first. She shook off her fur and jumped onto the couch curling up against the arm. Axl and I kicked snow off our shoes and took off our snow-covered coats.
His cheeks flushed, Axl rubbed his hands together.
“I will light a fire,” he said. “Finish your tea. It’s still warm.” Axl knelt before the fireplace, stacking kindling and logs on the grate.
“Thanks,” I said. Shivering, I walked across the room, grabbed a blanket, and curled up on the couch. Cam sat on the opposite me. She sighed and closed her eyes. I fiddled with my necklace. The clasp slid to the front which meant I could make a wish once I righted it. “I wish the snow would stop, and I could get back home where I belong,” I whispered to myself.
“You say something?” Axl asked.
“No, it’s silly,” I said. “Just making a wish about the snow.”
“Huh,” he said. “If wishes were horses than beggars would ride.”
“You don’t believe in making wishes?” I asked.