Page 3 of His Cowboy Heart

I’ve got an answer for you: you don’t.

“Answer me,” Abigail said, crossing her arms. I heard the fight in her voice. I didn’t want to be drawn into battle. I couldn’t face another strike against our love.

“No one, I don’t even think that’s a name,” I lied. “If I was dreaming, I don’t remember it. I never do, you know that.”

“Are you sure?” Abigail asked. I knew she was considering her next move. Would she let this go, or start throwing verbal punches? Anything could happen at 3:00 a.m.

“Yeah, I’m sure. Let’s go back to bed,” I said.

It wasn’t Abigail’s fault, not really. She was distrustful because she sensed my secrets.

I never told her about the summer I spent in Salishan, Washington. I never told her about the girl I asked to be my wife; the girl who broke my heart.

I told myself that I buried these secrets because it was the right thing to do. I wanted to protect Abigail from a past she couldn’t change. I wanted to save her from pain.

“I can’t sleep,” she pouted. “You woke me up and now my mind is racing.”

I should have told her about Shea then. It would have been the perfect time and I felt like a coward for hiding, but I did what I needed to do to make things better.

“Come here baby,” I whispered.

I lifted Abigail’s chin up with my fingertips and kissed her. I felt her relax under the weight of my kiss, and I knew that I’d dodged a bullet. I’d spared us from another late night fight.

“But, I swear you said . . .” she said as her lips pressed against mine. I didn’t want to answer any more questions, so I kissed her even harder.

She tensed as she melted into my kiss. Her lips parted and I ran my tongue across her teeth. She bit my lip and then moaned as she lay back on the bed. I slid my arm around her naked waist and hovered above her. I kissed her neck and her breasts. I worked my way down her body until I reached between her legs. She ran her hands through my hair as I kissed her softly knowing that every touch made her shiver. I played with her using my tongue. I sucked on her softly at first and then harder.

I told myself that I loved her. I told myself that her body was enough and in that moment I believed my own lies.

Then Abigail cupped my face in her hands and guided me up her body. She spread her legs and I slid myself deep inside her wetness willing myself to disappear into her familiar warmth.

As we had sex I tried to forget my dream.

Shea.

As we had sex I told myself we are making love, but I knew what I was doing.

Wait for me Shea Marie.

I fucked Abigail because it was easier than talking. I hid from the truth about our relationship because things had gone too far already.

I’d given her a ring hoping it would help me escape my memory of Shea. Instead, it reminded me of promises made and broken.

A dream after ten years felt like a sign. The walls between the present and past had grown thin, and worlds threatened to collide.

“Faster,” Abigail said, her fingernails digging into my back as she pressed her wet heat up against me.

I answered by driving my hard cock deeper inside. I hovered above her with every thrust making sure to press up against her clit. I needed to make her come; I wanted to make her scream.

“Faster, faster,” she commanded, her breathing grew ragged.

I fucked her harder trying to numb myself to the truth about my life.

I fucked her stroke by stroke the pleasure building inside me like a molten red heat.

The only place I would ever meet Shea Marie again was in my dreams. I hadn’t felt her touch in ten years and I would never feel it again.

“Fuck yes, oh yes baby,” Abigail said, her body tightening and then releasing as she writhed and shook with pleasure. She dug her nails into my back.

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