Page 12 of His Gilded Cage

“Nothing is impossible.”

“Veronica will be back soon I imagine.” She leaned over and kissed me on my cheek before standing. She stretched her arms skyward before reaching for her skirt and blouse on the floor; I watched her dress.

I panicked at the idea of her walking away. I felt this crazed need to keep her close. I had to make her stay. “Veronica has information on my mother’s case,” I blurted. “She says it’s being reopened. Please don’t go. I need you.”

I had broken Veronica’s trust. I felt like a traitor but I hated seeing the light go out in Carmella’s eyes.

Carmella froze for a moment. Something flickered across her face that looked like worry. “Veronica’s wrong. Your mother’s case is closed. Your father would know if they were investigating.”

“But haven’t you always wondered what really happened that night on the water. We were together . . .”

Carmella pulled her hair back into a bun. “I remember where we were.” She leaned down and kissed me. “Don’t let Veronica go opening old wounds, Marco. There are no answers to take away any of our pain. It won’t bring her back.”

“Of course not,” I said, wondering if Carmella was right. What good could come from digging into the past if the end result was always the same. I got dressed and walked Carmella to the door.

“I’ll stay close,” she said. “Call me if you need me. I hate the idea of you being alone.” Then she stood on tiptoes and pressed her lips against mine for a passionate kiss. Our bodies pressing together, I wished I could pick her up and carry her back to my bed.

“Leave the past alone,” she whispered and walked out the door.

As I watched her leave, I felt such loss. I had wanted nothing more than to hold her in my arms, but making love to the girl of my dreams was no longer enough. I felt emptier and more alone than when she’d arrived.

I sat on the front steps of the house and waited for Veronica. Across the road was the beach. Watching the water calmed me. I loved the steady rise and fall of the waves. They were predictable. They were serene. I closed my eyes and inhaled the salt of the ocean and lifted my face to the sun.

As I breathed in the ocean air I remembered my mother and the last time I’d seen her alive.

We sat side by side on the beach in Cabo San Lucas. The sailboat was anchored away from shore. We’d taken a dinghy inland for a day trip. My father was still onboard.

Our legs outstretched. Our toes flirted with the rising tide. I remember feeling the sun on my face and inhaling the clear sharp scent of the ocean.

“I wish we could stay here forever,” my mother had said. I remember how she sighed and lowered her sunglasses over her dark eyes. Her frames were thick and black and made me think of old American movie stars. She wore a wide brimmed black hat and a blue bathing suit that she had bought in the lobby of a hotel when she realized she’d come ashore without her swimsuit. I teased her about being forgetful. Later the police would say the forgotten suit was a sign of her state of mind, evidence of her distraction.

“I don’t. I want to go home to Guadalajara,” I had said to her, kicking the sand. I didn’t care whether or not this hurt her feelings. I was sixteen years old and incapable of thinking beyond my own needs. My parents had dragged me on a boat trip and I longed for freedom. I longed for Carmella.

“You don’t really live in Guadalajara. Home is in your heart, remember this,” Mama had said. “You take it with you. It isn’t a place my love.”

“Don’t you get bored of being on the water?” I asked.

“Of course I do. I wish I could stay here with you . . .” She said.

As her voice trailed off I scanned the crowded beach searching for Carmella.

Without telling my parents, I’d bribed one of the crew to let me call Carmella the day before. I’d begged her to meet me in Cabo and had been equal parts surprised and thrilled when she’d agreed. I’d had no idea where we would go, but Carmella had said she knew a place, a beachside hotel where we could be alone. Hotel Casa Dona. Since we had spoken, I had thought of nothing else.

I needed to escape my mother’s watchful eye and find the hotel. Carmella had told me there would be a key for me at the front desk and she’d be waiting upstairs

“Thank you for spending time with me,” Mama said. “You are a good son, you have no idea how proud I am of you.”

“Mama, come on,” I’d said, embarrassed. “Can I go for a walk by myself? I’m sick and tired of being cooped up on that sailboat.”

“The dinghy is coming back for us in thirty minutes,” Mama said.

“You go without me,” I said. “I’ll call from the village when I’m ready. I just want to explore a little bit on my own. Please?”

Mama looked tense, her eyes scanning the crowded beach and bars. “No drinking and come find me when you return to the boat. I have some things we need to talk about before we anchor in Sayulita,” Mama said. “It’s important.”

“Thank you Mama,” I said. I stood up and leaned down to give her kiss. She had given me permission to explore. This was much more important to me than her request to talk to me before we anchored in Sayulita.

“I’ll be back in an hour, maybe two at the most . . .” I was focused on one thought only. Carmella. My young, selfish mind couldn’t imagine that my mother had anything to share more compelling than Carmella’s gorgeous, naked body.

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