Page 12 of Christmas of Convenience

Dear God, what am I saying?

“Man, it’s good to see town,” Sam huffs as he lifts the plow on his truck and continues down Main Street. “We’ll be at the Christmas tree farm soon.”

“Okay.” I swallow hard and glance toward him. “Look, we’re both exhausted and today has clearly been weird. Maybe it’s best if we call this off.”

He glances toward me. “Why?”

“I’ll still pay you for your time, but I don’t know. I mean…” I don’t know how to say what I’m feeling. Hell, I don’t know what I’m feeling.

No.The truth is, I’m scared to be vulnerable.

Will you look at that? I did that without five cent psychiatric help. Good for me.

He sighs and reaches his hand out, landing it on top of mine. “Look, I’ve never been with a virgin before and it scared me. If I’m honest, this whole thing is scaring me.”

“Okay.”

“I’ve never connected with anyone on this level before. It’s… it’s fuckin’ wild and I don’t know what to do with it.” He brushes his thumb against the back of my hand. “I like you,for real, Jen. I think you’re mysterious, cute, smart, and you… look so damn good.”

I stare at him, probably drooling. I’m too stuck in my head to check.

“Is that weird?” He glances toward me then back at the snow-covered road. “I know we’ve only known each other for a bit, but it feels right. Doesn’t it? It’s like you were meant to be here. Like that storm was meant to happen, and we were meant to get stuck on that road.” He blows out a breath. “Fuck…listen to me. I sound like a fucking teenager.”

This is the part where I’m supposed to be brave and tell him that I’m feeling all the same things too, but as we turn down the hillside toward the Christmas tree farm at the end of the road, my perfect sister catches my eye and anxiety erupts.

My thin, fashionable, put-together model of a twin. In my haze of whatever Sam and I have been in, I’m not sure I fully prepared myself for the embarrassment that standing next to her would be. I mean, how many people have to introduce a man they’re falling for to the twin version of themselves that’s better in every way possible?

No one.

No one has to do that, and I was dumb as hell for thinking I wanted to.

Besides that, I’m a complete wreck now. My hair is a mess from making out, then standing in the whipping cold, and my panties are still soaked. I could use a shower and a complete redo. Even if I did, I’d still only look a quarter as good as Jessa.

My heart pounds as Sam pulls into the lot next to the big, red tree barn. My sister wastes no time meeting me at the truck door. She’s wearing a short black dress that clings to her perfect little body, a furry red coat, and the prettiest shade of lipstick I’ve ever seen. Oh, and despite the wind, the curls in her hair stay perfectly still.

Sam grabs hold of my hand. “You’re so much better than her. I’ve got you.” His voice is so steady and well timed that I almost believe him. Hell, I’d fully believe him if it weren’t for the glaringly obvious truth that Jessa istrulybetter than me. “Stay right there. I’ll help you out.”

I do as I’m told, watching my sister stare Sam down as though he’s an alien species she’s seeing for the first time. She likes what she sees.

A rush pushes through me as Sam opens the truck door and he helps me down. I’ve never been one to enjoy the color that pretty leaves on my skin, but right now, I’m definitely with the hottest dude here. And judging by the look on my sister’s face, it’s driving her insane.

Sam reaches for my hand and helps me down from the truck, tucking me against his chest before locking up. There’s a large crowd here for the party with a band playing country music in the back. Santa has center stage on a throne of sorts with children and families surrounding him for photos. Christmas trees and white lights stretch as far as I can see and the scent of warm sugar cookies and barbeque wafts outside. I see my parents in a back corner talking to a couple I’ve never seen before and a man in Army greens is making his way toward Samwith a wide grin. That must be the man who’s just retired from the military.

“Chevy, how are you doing?” Sam holds out his arms and hugs the square jawed man with vigor. “Shit! It’s good to see you, man.”

“Same.” Chevy smiles warmly. What are they feeding the men up here? They’re all tall, brawny, and handsome as hell.

“This is my girlfriend, Jen,” Sam says, tucking his arm back around my waist. “She’s in town from Kansas for the holiday weekend.”

His girlfriend? I like the way that sounds so much I want to hear it again.

“Actually,” my sister steps forward, holding her phone up in the air for everyone to see, “they aren’t dating at all. She hired him.”

How did she get the text meant for Heather? My legs feel weak and the hammering I’d felt in my heart a minute ago is now sluggish. I think I’m going to vomit.

Jessa really doesn’t give two shits about me. If she did, she wouldn’t be calling me out like this.

“What are you doing?” I manage, never feeling more naked in my life.

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