Page 74 of Provoke You

21

The Special Ward

Ela

A box, a cell, a room, a bed. What was the difference? I brought my knees closer to my chest. The tight position made the nausea go away. Outside the room, Dad’s voice boomed and reverberated against my breastbone. I couldn’t make out the words. I didn’t have to; they were always the same. He wanted a quick and easy solution. He wanted me in the special ward. That seemed to be his solution for everything.

Put Ela in a fucking box. Send her somewhere to exist far away. Make Ela better.

IT WASN’T ME.

I wanted to scream, but the sedatives kept me in a tiny space, quiet and meek. On their own, my eyes fluttered open. I could only stay willingly in the dark for so long. My heart expanded painfully at the sight of Matt. Tears rolled down my cheeks. I had no control of those either. He’d found me. He was here, and that meant a way out.

“How do you feel?” His voice was deep, but also coarse and cold, detached. He wore the same suit as last night, but without the jacket. How long had he been here with me? How long had I been here?

“Everything hurts.”

He nodded as if he knew that was the price to pay. “You scared the shit out of me.”

“I’m sorry.” I didn’t know what I was sorry for, but it seemed like the thing to say given my state. “You were gone. You never showed.”

“I showed up. You were gone.”

I closed my eyes. His words meant something, but I couldn’t decipher them. “I want to go home.”

“They’re working on that.” He stood by the threshold, as if I were contagious. “Ela.” He stepped toward me. For a moment, he was my Matt. He had that light in his eyes that sparked every time he looked at me. His fingers grazed my cheek and warmth rushed through my body. If they could put that in my saline bag, I’d be healed already. “I have to go.”

“No. Don’t go.” Something about this place wasn’t right. Did he not see that? “Take me with you.”

“I can’t do that.”

The blood rushed to my feet. He wasn’t here for me. “Where am I gonna go?”

“They will take care of you here.”

“No.” I sat up. My head and the room spun a few rounds. By the time I was able to focus on Matt, a nurse was in the room making sure the tubes attached to the machine hadn’t been dislodged. The throbbing pain in my arm told me I was half-freed from the bed and this white cell. “Don’t let them do this to me. Please.”

“Ela.” He shuffled away from me.

Dad walked into the room, his face red, redder than usual. “Ela, don’t fight them. Do us all a favor and do as you’re told for once.”

“Let me talk to Matt.”

“There’s no time for that.” He gestured for the nurse to take me.

No time? What was the rush? Was he afraid Matt would change his mind and take me with him?

“Don’t you think you’ve been enough of an imposition on him?” Dad stepped closer to Matt.

“Matt. Please. Let me speak.” Tears streamed down my cheeks. The pain in Matt’s face made my stomach churn. He loved me. I knew that. Even if he didn’t say it before, I knew he loved me. He had to believe this wasn’t me anymore.

He turned to Dad and the nurse. “Give us a minute.”

It wasn’t a request, and Dad understood that. He was being so careful not to aggravate Matt. Pursing his lips, he left the room, and the nurse followed.

Matt closed the door with a trembling hand. He glared at his white knuckles while I lay in the bed unable to move, unable to wrap my arms around his neck and explain everything to him.

“Do you trust me?” I asked.

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