Page 22 of Belle Amour

“I would have left Ana in a heartbeat if you asked me to.” He watched as her eyes widened in shock, and her arms dropped to hang at her sides. “I was passionately, romantically, hopelessly, head over heels in love with Ana, Mira, and it fucking paled to nothing compared to how I feel about you.”

“I've been telling you I love you since we were sixteen.” He reached out and caught her hand, bringing it to his face and pressing it against his cheek. “Explain to me how you feel about me. Tell me it isn't more, doesn't go deeper than a fucking Disney cartoon. Please give me the words Mira, because I don't have them. I've tried to tell you, to show you how much I love you for years. I don’t know if you were waiting for a big grand gesture or what…” He saw a flash of guilt go across her face and let out a sigh. “Of course you were. Was I supposed to stand up and yell, “I object!” at your wedding? Because I thought I was telling you that when I begged you not to marry him.”

“I thought you just didn’t want me to marry him because you hated him. I didn't... I wasn’t paying attention.” Mira closed her eyes, and he could see she was regretting everything now. “Fuck. I'm sorry, Bastian.”

Bastian gently pulled her closer. They were both equally to blame in his mind, and he didn’t want her to feel bad. “You’re my best friend, Mira; that's what made it so hard for me. I didn't want to lose you. I was walking such a narrow ledge. Short of grabbing you and kissing you, which I was terrified to do because that would fuck everything up if you didn't feel the same; I didn't know how else to articulate it to you.”

Mirabelle sat next to him on the bed. They both sat quietly for a few minutes, trying to collect their thoughts. “I waswaiting for the big, grand gesture,” she admitted quietly after a moment. Bastian shifted so he faced her, wanting her side of things. “Watching you marry Ana was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but I was hoping you would change your mind and run away with me.” She took a deep breath. “When you got the vasectomy, I hoped there was a chance because the kid obstacle had been removed, and then you said the whole thing about love not being real, and I was devastated all over again. I felt like I had to move on and give you up so I wouldn’t go through the heartbreak again.”

Bastian felt his chest ache and wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms and make her feel better. He knew exactly how much watching him marry Ana had hurt her because he couldn’t stay to watch her marry Eddie, so he couldn’t blame her for wanting to protect herself by moving on. “I understand, Bunny. I had a lot of things to work through after my marriage ended. I was angry, I was confused, and I had trust issues. I couldn't have been with you like that.” He sighed. “And I should have just come out and said something to you rather than being vague before you married Eddie.”

“That would have been better.” She agreed, sounding relieved that they weren’t yelling at one another anymore, and now she sounded amused. “You just made yourself look like an ass.”

“To be fair,” Bastian defended himself half-jokingly. “I told you right from the start of that whole thing that he wasn't good enough for you. And I straight up warned you about Casey.”

“Yeah, you did, and when I pointed out our relationship wasn't any different, and it would be hypocritical of me to say anything about it, you said “exactly.’” Her face changed as he watched her make another connection, and she groaned. “WhichI just realized you were telling me you wanted more. Damn it, Bast.”

Bastian started to laugh; he couldn’t help it. He may not have been outright in his declaration of love, but he had been consistent and tenacious in showing how he felt. “This is all on you, Bunny. I've been telling you for almost two decades that I love you. You're the one who decided I must have meant I love you as a friend or a sister or whatever it was that you thought I felt. I was trying to tell you while also remaining respectful of you because I was very unsure if you felt the same. And if I'm being really honest, I still don't know.”

“I don't know.” Mirabelle pushed her hair back out of her face and couldn’t seem to meet his eyes. Bastian felt his heart drop to his toes but managed to swallow his disappointment. “I mean, yes, of course, I love you. I've been in love with you forever, but I gave up on it, Bast, and now I'm finding out I'm an idiot and...” She trailed off and looked at him apologetically.

“Bunny, calm down.” Bastian smiled, his whole being feeling lighter when she said she was in love with him and pulled her in for a hug. “It's okay, we'll figure it out. There's no pressure.” He cupped her cheek and rubbed his thumb across it. “I've waited twenty-one years; I can wait a little longer.” Mirabelle smiled, her relief that he wasn’t pushing her almost palpable, and leaned into him, hugging him back. “I mean, not like a lot longer, but a little longer.”

“I promise not to make you wait another twenty-one years.” Mirabelle giggled as Bastian buried his face into her neck, breathing her in for a second before he sat back and breathed a sigh of relief.

“Alright, we have the reservations at The Earle for seven tonight; it’s a French Italian restaurant that has live jazz.” Bastian's plans to spend this week dating her were back in play,and he was excited to get started. “I figured you'd want to spend the afternoon in the pool.”

“Sounds amazing, and I would normally be all for spending an afternoon in the pool, especially since it’s very empty right now.” She smiled and kissed his cheek. “But we're gonna have to go shopping; I didn't pack a swimsuit.”

“Seriously?” Bastian groaned; he’d been hoping he could join her in the pool for a bit and then catch up on some reading while she swam. “I always make sure you have a pool to swim in; why didn't you pack a suit?”

“Because I need some new ones.” She grinned and rubbed her hands in his hair, messing it up. Bastian grimaced and moved out of her reach, fixing his hair carefully. “We could just spend the afternoon shopping and get all that stuff out of the way 'cause I also didn’t bring a dress.”

“The invitation said black tie, right?” Bastian flopped back on the bed. Normally, he didn’t mind shopping, but the emotional ups and downs of the last several hours had been tiring, and he just wanted to relax.

“I think so,” she nodded, furrowing her brow. “I haven’t looked at the invitation in months; I’m pretty sure I tossed it. I can double-check, though.” Mirabelle pulled her phone out of her bra.

“How are you gonna do that?” Bastian lifted his head curiously, watching as she scrolled through to find whatever she was looking for.

“I'm gonna call Francesca.” She murmured; she paused and chewed her lip, looking a little nervous.

“Eddie's mother?” Bastian raised his eyebrow. He knew she had to work hard to win over Eddie’s family at first; being a prostitute’s daughter wasn’t something she hid anymore; sheembraced that she had pulled herself out of her situation with hard work and determination. She was proud of how far she had come and the barriers she’d had to knock down on the way, but sometimes, it made things more challenging for her, and Eddie’s old-money, upper-class family had taken a while to warm up to her. But when they finally did, they embraced her wholeheartedly and had been upset about the divorce.

“Yeah, we talked a few times before things went crazy.” She glanced up at him, still hesitating. “I don’t know what Eddie told them, but the last time was very short and cold on her end. I’m kinda wondering if they know Eddie invited me and what their reactions will be.”

Bastian sat up and put his hand on her shoulder. “Might as well find out so we’ll know how to respond when we run into them.” She nodded, and he squeezed gently as she pressed the call button and put her on speaker.

“Mirabelle! Darling, how are you?”Mirabelle stared at her phone for a second in surprise and then shook her head. Bastian gave her shoulder another squeeze. Francesca seemed happy to hear from Mirabelle, and he pulled out his phone, still half listening to the conversation but confident she could handle it without his support.

“I'm great, Francesca; how are you?” Bastian grinned to himself; Mirabelle had almost immediately relaxed and fallen into her usual confident response at Francesca’s evident happiness to hear from her.

“I'm middling along. Only a week until the farce of a wedding happens, and I can go back to New York and never set foot here again.”Bastian looked up in surprise, but Mirabelle smirked and giggled.

“Not enjoying Michigan?”

“Dear, you know full well I don't enjoy anywhere that isn't New York, Milan, Paris, or London.”Bastian raised his eyebrow at Mirabelle, and she shook her head, mouthing “later,” so he knew she would explain it to him after she got off the phone.“I hear you're gracing us with your presence and bringing a plus one.”

“Yeah, Bastian and I just flew in.” She shifted, sitting cross-legged on the bed as she spoke, looking relieved that the Sheas were aware that she had been invited.

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