My mind flits to four summers ago, when my best friend and I both fell fast and hard for two North Carolina boys, who justso happened to be cousins. It was the best summer of my life, one I will never forget, no matter how badly those memories hurt.
“Are you ready for the engagement party? Any last-minute things we need to do?” I ask.
“I think we’re all set, honestly. I’m so happy you’re coming to North Carolina.”
“Anything for you, babe. Just can't wait to be with everyone and visit Nori Beach again.” Grabbing her hands in mine, I squeeze. I try my best to hide my trepidation. Junior hasn't exactly approved my trip just yet. But I'm staying positive, manifesting it, because Lord knows I need it. It’s been too long since I had a break from everything. My soul is in need of some serious recharging, and being surrounded by loved ones is exactly what the doctor prescribed.
Nori Beach has always been my safe space, though I haven’t been back since Trent left. Missing him consumed me, and I knew visiting the place where we fell in love would only make it that much worse. I also couldn’t bear the thought of visiting with Junior; his presence would only warp such a special place to me. I was beyond thrilled when I realized this party lines up during the exact time that Junior typically goes to Italy to handle “business” for a few weeks in November. The first year we were married, he made me go with him, since it was over Thanksgiving. Then, the year after, he said I could remain home…and this year, it wasn’t even a topic of conversation. He just assumed I’d stay home again. More than fine by me.
A small ache forms in my chest at the idea of who will be missing when I arrive on the sandy shores.
Lottie must recognize the look on my face because she squeezes my hand back, and a silence falls across our table as our minds wander. Trent remains that unspoken topic thatlooms over us whenever we’re together. From past chats with Lottie, I know that she and Greyson both feel the sting of Trent’s abandonment as well. Not only did he cut me off, but most of the communication with his family as well. He left his brother Trevor to relay most messages, and even those are like pulling teeth, giving us the bare minimum. Through him, we learned that Trent went to Europe to study abroad, taking classes year-round so he could finish his undergrad. He remains tight-lipped on any other information about Trent, something that is probably for the best, yet I still resent it. I'm ashamed to admit this, but knowing he’s distanced himself from his family as well lessens the blow just a bit.
The wound his absence left is sliced open every time I hear his name, and the pain I feel flows through my body like an ache that never seems to subside. It kills me that he cut me off without another word, especially when I assumed our time apart was only temporary. What else did I expect him to do, though? For a while, I was naively hopeful that fate would bring us back together the way we spoke of. But as the months went by without him, I realized there was never a happy ending written for us.
Her eyes dart over my shoulder as I take a sip of my latte, and I know who she’s looking at… my guard. My forever shadow.
“Who will be joining you in North Carolina?” she asks, her gaze returning to me.
“Junior is leaving for Italy next month, so I’m really hoping he just lets Micah accompany me. My new guard Luca wouldn’t be so bad either. Micah vetted him, so maybe I could ask that he can request Luca to accompany us.”
I'm hoping that Micah joining me as a guest gives me the green light to attend the engagement party. Junior usually lets me off my leash just enough to keep up appearances, as longas I have a guard with me. If he isolated me completely from everyone and everything I loved, it would certainly raise questions and concerns, especially from Micah.
She quirks her eyebrow at the addition of a new name.
“He’s quite nice, actually. Not a complete asshole like the rest of them.” I smile.
“Oh, well, that’s good to hear.” She chuckles, and then continues. “It will be so nice spending time with Micah. Nana Rexwood is beyond excited to see you all. She even mentioned celebrating Thanksgiving early while everyone's in town visiting.”
It's been a long time since the three of us have spent time together. Once Micah was old enough and got more involved with the Santini family, our time together grew few and far between.
“Will that be too much for her? I know she already cooks for basically all of Richmond Hills,” I ask, laughing lightly. That woman is a machine and will do anything to get the people she loves together, even if it means staying up all night cooking and cleaning.
“She wouldn’t have it any other way. You should have seen her face when I told her we were having the engagement party catered. So, our compromise was her cooking Thanksgiving for us with Trent’s mom. It's going to be so nice to have everyone there.”
I try my best not to wince at the pain from just hearing the sound of his name out loud.
“It really will be a great time,” I say, trying my best to maintain my smile for her. She studies me for a minute, her assessing eyes making me shift in my seat.
“How are you really doing? You can talk to me, you know.” Her tone is so soft, and the way she’s looking at me makes it clear I’m not totally fooling her with the fake smiles.
Even so, my answer is immediate and the same for everyone asking this question. “I'm doing okay. Keeping busy.” I'm hoping she’ll accept my half-ass blanket statement and not dig further. If she does, it’ll only make me feel worse, more distant. Because no matter how much I want to be honest with my best friend, she can’t know the truth.
She eyes me for a moment more, then takes a big sip of her coffee.
“So, I'm not sure how to tell you this, but I think you need to know...” she starts, and I quirk my eyebrow to encourage her to continue.
“Trentisback,” she blurts out in one breath, and I swear, time stands still. My heart stutters, my breath gets locked in my throat, every muscle in my body tenses.
Back? What does she mean, back? Like, in New York?
Despair immediately replaces the rush of anticipation from hearing her news.
“How long has he been back?” My question causes her to flinch.
Her facial expression already reveals what I feared.
“Since the beginning of August…but I only found out a few weeks ago. You had a lot going on, and I didn’t want to throw more onto your plate at the time.” Wincing, she bites her lip, and I wait for her to say more. “I'm telling you because you're my best friend and you deserve to know. I also didn’t want you to be surprised if he shows up at the engagement party.”