Page 21 of Make You Mine

So I close my eyes and dream of her, desperately hoping one day I’ll have new memories to dance across the back of my eyelids when I sleep and the opportunity to create fresh ones each day.

Did me leaving the way I did snuff out that dream for Ashley forever?The nagging feeling in my gut churns at the thought and makes me restless.

Is the damage between us irrevocable?

Ashley

I'm practically wearing a path through the plush cream rug in the center of my sewing room as I pace back and forth. My sewing room, my refuge, my happy place…but it feels more like a cage now more than ever. This whole damn place feels like one. I can’t escape, can't roam freely… I'm stuck and at the mercy of someone else. Someone who has been on a rampage ever since the shooting attempt last weekend. Over the last two days, he’s learned that the attempt on his life was a well-thought-out plan, and heads are rolling. Literally.

Thankfully, I was able to get out earlier in the week before he knew the full extent of the situation. I'm no longer blind to the fact that my safety is not his top priority. He looks out for one person and one person only—himself. As long as I remain in line with the façade of a dutiful wife, he couldn’t care less about my well-being.

Since Junior’s mood is more dreadful than usual, I’ve been doing my best to stay out of his way by locking myself in this very room as much as possible. But tonight, I want out. I need to see Trent.

The problem is that Junior is not at Sinners like usual. Instead, he’s hosting the meeting here, at his house. With a dozen or so of his men here, the probability of me escaping unnoticed seems slim to none. I tried to use my mother as an excuse, saying she needed my help to go through Dad’s things, but that request fell on deaf ears. It wasn’t a completely fabricated story; I intended on having dinner with her beforehand. I’ve been trying to see her as much as possible now that she’salone. Even though it’s hard, I'm working my way through my resentment. Ultimately, it’s because of my dad that I’m stuck in this hellhole, but my mother never stood up for me either. Although neither of them ever realized how bad it truly is. An unsettling feeling of guilt ensues, considering I still feel this way, even with my dad six feet under and my mother devastated from the loss.

It's well past midnight now, and the sounds of engines roaring to life fill the air. I'm hoping Junior leaves along with them; that way, I can sneak out. Nori is sound asleep on his mat in front of my sewing desk as I creep out of the room and into my bedroom.

No sooner do I close my door, I’m startled by Junior’s shadow in the corner. My hand flies to my chest as I suck in a sharp gasp.

“Shit, you scared me,” I confess, and he eyes me for a few moments, assessing the fact that I'm not in my pajamas like I normally would be at this time of night.

“Going somewhere?” he taunts as he approaches.

“No, coming in to get ready for bed. Lost track of time sketching,” I reply dryly on my way to my closet, trying to act nonchalant, even as my body buzzes with nerves.

“You were supposed to meet me in my room this evening,” he says, referring to the arrangement he demands of me. I suppress a shiver. I dread my ovulation week, knowing he expects me to be waiting for him in his bed, regardless of if he’s home or not.

“Your meeting just ended…and you’re usually not home on Fridays. Figured you were going out,” I say while searching through my drawers for a pajama set, in hopes that he just leaves me be.

I feel his hand grip my upper arm moments before I'm being spun around and pushed against a rack of clothes.

“You know damn well what the fuck I expect, principessa,” he seethes through his clenched teeth. The smell of alcohol hits me in the face as my stomach sinks to my feet.

“I must’ve lost track of time,” I say with a calmness I don’t feel. I know what today is. Today is the day before my ovulation begins. And per his demands, I must be ready and waiting for him. It’s the most torturous thing I’ve ever been through. I would take one of his beatings over lying in his bed while he uses me any day.

“Bull-fucking-shit. There’s a reminder on your phone and mine.” He takes a step back before continuing. “You know, I find it strange that over the past three years, you have yet to fall pregnant with my heir.” My eyes wander around the enclosed space, looking for a way out. It feels like I can’t breathe with his presence bearing down on me.

He grips my chin to pull my attention back to him, his roughness making me wince. “The doctors claim that you and I are both healthy in that department and should have no problem conceiving. I wonder what the issue is…” His grip tightens with each word before forcefully pushing me away.

My feet stumble for a second before I regain my balance. Junior radiates a dangerous energy as he paces back and forth in front of me.

“You know, you really had me fooled there…thinking it just wasn’t our time yet. But then…” He pauses and encroaches on my space yet again. “But then, I found this.” He holds up the small pill pack and dread floods my entire body.

“You think I’m a fucking idiot, don’t you? That I wouldn’t suspect anything? I have to admit, it was harder than Ithought it would be to find.” Fear crawls up my spine at what else he could have found during his search. I will myself to take a deep breath, knowing he would have said something if so. So, I remain silent. No words will help me out of this.

His cool demeanor scares me the most. I can take the yelling, but it’s when he speaks so steadily, so collected, that he’s the most frightening.

Junior spins me around once more and shoves me up against the wall. I groan from the thud, my ribs taking the brunt of it. With his chest flush to my back, his hot breaths feel like acid on my neck.

“You fucked up, principessa,” he grits out into my ear as he tears down my skirt. With the rip of fabric, I clench my eyes shut. Preparing for what comes next.

My focus fades away when I hear him undo the clasp of his belt. The clinking noise reminds me of the bells on top of buoys in the water. Soft noises sound through the air while sitting on top of the hood of a Jeep. Salt air fills my senses as I drift further into the memory. Desperately clinging to the green eyes staring back at me as the sun sets over the horizon. His warm touch gently caresses my face as I lean into him.

“…Fate brought us together twice now. I’ll hold on to the fact that it will bring us back to one another again someday.”

I can’t stop the tears from trickling down my cheeks at the memory. Of what could have been…

I'm still lost in my memory when I'm pressed more forcefully into the wall. My hands brace against its surface to help lessen the impact as I will my brain to venture back to the visions of what I wish my life could be. The thoughts that have gotten me through this torture time and time again.

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