Page 21 of Unbreak My Heart

He hid his smile. His father was so proud of the herd that anyone would think he owned the cows and not Gabe.

He glanced at his brother. Gabe chatted happily with a small group off to the side of Max. Simon still hadn’t been out to his farm since…

Since.

He rubbed at his face, suddenly tired.

He would. He’d go back out there. Soon.

It wasn’t as if he was scared of the place or anxious about it. He’d just… avoided facing it yet.

Simon looked down at a tug on his jeans. Finn hung off his leg and grinned up at him, something that had once been food all smooshed up in his fist; a fist that he was sucking on so that the mush was squeezing out the sides.

Simon fought the simultaneous stomach drop and instinct that insisted he pick up his nephew and raised a brow at the tiny human. “Dude. That’s just gross.”

Finn held up his hand as if to share it with him. Simon’s face twisted. “Eww. No, man. No thanks. I’m good. You eat it up.”

Finn’s smile only grew, and Ryan swooped in to grab his now-giggling son. “Sorry, Si. I don’t think he left a mess on your jeans.”

Simon shrugged. He didn’t care about mess. “Don’t stress about it. I’m good.”

Ryan eyed him, then nodded slowly. Simon shuffled uncomfortably. He hated how they all walked on eggshells around him regarding the kids. It’s not as if he didn’tlikethem, because he did, he just…

He almost sighed out loud at his own messed-up head. The kids themselves were still too young to notice or understand that Uncle Simon was a head case, but they would, and soon enough if he didn’t sort himself out.

Ryan scooped up Finn and stepped backward, then gagged as Finn shoved the food into his mouth. He jerked his head back and tried to wipe his mouth on his shoulder.

“Oh,yuck!Finn, buddy!”

Simon’s laughter rang around them. It felt good to laugh like this. Really good. His father stepped forward and took the squirming Finn.

“Go clean yourself up, Ryan. I’ll see to this little terror.” Ed smiled indulgently down at his grandson. “Not that you are, hey, little man? We’ll just let daddy think so, shall we?”

Finn garbled a reply and Simon shook his head. This was something he would now never get to experience for himself.

The sense of loss washed over him, but more tempered, not as strong as it had been. He’d come a long way in the last six months. Some days were still hard, but they were easing. Sometimes things still stung, though, and he could never tell what was going to cause it.

A bright pink tablecloth.

A stained-glass lamp.

A certain scent.

All of it had the power to undo him, but he’d learned from bitter experience to work his way through it.

He glanced at Max, holding little Juliet, and fought the sadness that tried to well up. He wanted to be there for Max, wanted to be a good uncle for both the kids, but…

His therapist had told him in his last session that it would get easier, that he would get to that point eventually. He just hoped it would be before they were old enough to start noticing.

Max caught him looking and motioned him over with a jerk of his chin. Swallowing his morose thoughts, he nodded and planted the smile they all wanted to see on his face and headed toward his brother.

Chapter Six

Eva kissed herson on his forehead and handed him over to her mother, then placed his bag by the front door as she turned.

“Thanks, Mum.” She glanced at her watch.

If she didn’t hurry, she’d be late for work.