Page 42 of Hometown Cowboy

Ryan tried to smile at her and failed miserably. “I’m—”

“Ryan.” Startled recognition lit her eyes. She breathed his name, as though if she spoke too loudly, he’d disappear into the ether. “Oh my.”

Awkwardness had him shuffle his feet and look anywhere but at either of them. “You must be his wife? I’m not here to make trouble, I just needed to…” He let out a weird, high-pitched laugh. “I don’t even know.” He scraped a hand over his face. “Maybe this was a bad idea. I shouldn’t be here.”

He turned to go and glanced at the friendly woman. “I’m sorry. I’ll go.”

Alan grabbed his upper arm. Ryan stared at it, the idea that his father could actually want to talk to him overwhelming him and forcing all thought from his head.

“Please don’t leave. C-come in. Have a coffee, or something. We can talk.”

Ryan nodded, worried that his voice wouldn’t work if he tried to speak and stepped into the entryway of the house of the man he’d ached for, for all those years.

Was it really this simple? Was he really being welcomed?

“I’m Genevieve.” The lady’s warm hand on his shoulder distracted him. “I’ll go pop on the kettle. What would you like, Ryan?”

“Ah, coffee is fine thanks.” He bent to undo his boot laces in the entryway.

“I can’t believe Julie finally agreed to you seeing me.” Alan’s voice softened. “Thirty-two years is far too long.”

Just a little.Ryan looked up, frowning. “What do you mean? What’s she got to do with it?”

Alan cocked his head to the side, looking confused. “Julie? Everything. Was she difficult to convince?”

Ryan straightened. Uneasiness roiled in his gut. What was he on about?

“I didn’t convince her of anything. I’m thirty-five. I don’t need my mother’s permission to do anything. I came on my own. There are things I need to…” He shrugged. “I just need to sort some stuff out. You are part of that.”

“Oh…” Alan breathed deeply. “So she doesn’t know you’re here?” Sadness flickered behind his eyes. “So, you don’t know the truth, after all.”

Ryan couldn’t cover his confusion. “What truth? Besides that I grew up without a father, and never knew why?”

Alan’s lips flattened. “And that’s exactly why I wish you’d spoken to Julie. She was the reason I wasn’t there, it’s up to her to explain why and take her share of the blame.” He held his hands up placatingly when Ryan’s face shut down. “I understand why you’re upset, but there’s a lot more to this than you think. I always wanted to be part of your life.”

Anger and confusion swirled through Ryan, overwhelmed by immense hurt. His father had abandoned both him and his mother all those years ago, and he was trying to throw shade on her?

Ryan tried to keep the pain out of his voice but failed drastically. “What crap. If you did you would’ve been there. Mum had nothing to do with it. I could never walk away from my kid.”

Unlike you.

The words hung unspoken between them, like a physical barrier.

Shame and misery flooded him and twisted his gut into a hard knot. He wouldn’t be like this man in front of him. Refused to be. Even if he and Darby couldn’t agree on being together, he’d never abandon his child to think it was unloved or unwanted, regardless of how it came to be.

“Is everything okay in here? Why don’t you come on through to the kitchen?” Genevieve’s gentle voice sounded behind Alan.

Ryan glanced at her and shook his head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to… I’m sorry if I’ve caused problems.”

Genevieve opened her mouth to speak, but the next voice he heard came from behind her.

“Dad? Who’s here?”

Ryan gasped and stepped back.Dad? He’d had more kids?

Of course, he had. What an idiot to think otherwise.

Kids he’d wanted.

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