Page 58 of Charming Her Monsters

“I just can’t get over all of it,” Calder half-ass apologizes.

“Youcan, but you aren’t allowing yourself to let go.” I sigh, because I don’t enjoy lecturing him, but he’s not snapping out of his poor attitude. It’s been years since he last died and came back. He’s more twisted up than ever before. “Jade isn’t anything like the witch who killed you.”

“I know. But…”

“No. No buts. I’m not saying you have to be lovers or even best friends. I’m just saying give her a damn break. You are so focused on your anger, we might never get our answers if you aren’t helping us find them. The pain of losing Osen made you miss out on a great opportunity to talk to him again. Hopefully, if we get him back, you don’t let that opportunity slip through your fingers again. And you might be missing something else important if you keep this up.”

“I…” he starts to defend himself and then stops. After a moment, he concedes, “You’re right. I’m kicking myself that I didn’t talk to Osen more when he was alive. And that I didn’t pursue closure when he was in Jade.”

“Promise me you won’t make that mistake again?”

He nods, but doesn’t seal the promise with his words. I just hope he doesn’t fuck up his chances anymore than he has.

18

BOUNDARIES

JADE

After all the early morning strangeness with Floofer and the intense breakthrough with Flint, I attempt to write.

Keyword: Attempt.

I get a few words on the page, but mostly it’s just notes, ideas, and snippets of dialogue that I will have to expand and enhance for it to make any sense.

I can’t focus with all that’s happened recently, my mind is a chaotic mess. It was bad enough when I was just dealing with a jerky boyfriend and our breakup.

But everything going on in my life is so far beyond simple problems that I might as well be in another realm… which now, I suppose, I have been to.

What is my life?

It is no small thing to discover that your entire world is a lie. Or more accurately, completely misrepresented. What was up is now down. Monsters and supernaturals are real. My abuela really was a witch, not just loco, like my mother would have me believe. I have two (possibly more) lovers who are supernatural beings. Oh, and one of my fur babies might have been spying on me for the past few years.

I shudder, thinking how I petted him and held him to my breast when he might have been some mage in disguise. Ugh.

I hope the jerk hated every second of it. Otherwise, I want to be sick.

Ultimately, I’m just pissed off about how ignorant I was to literally everything happening in my life.

Every once in a while, I hear Arran whine softly outside the office door. His wolf, and-or beast, and-or the human part can’t handle this closed door.

I can’t say I’m a fan of it either, but I need to maintain healthy boundaries. As an introvert, I’m so used to being alone that this constant touching and attention feels scary and overwhelming. I’m collapsing in on myself with all the energy it takes for me to be around all these new people. I need time to gather myself.

After a slew of author administrative duties, I give up trying to force the words and curl up on the daybed. Weirdly, I can actually feel Arran outside in the hallway and Maxum upstairs. My magic must be coming to me. If I strain, I can even feel Flint in his room… pacing?

I suppose he’s had his world rocked as much as I have. I hope our upheavals turn out to be good things in the long run.

I don’t feel Calder though, and I wonder if that has to do with the fact I have no emotional bonds with him. I search inside myself and a shadow seems to brush up against me. Is it Osen? I hope he comes back in full form and is happy to be with me.

There’s a soft knock on the door, and I sit up. “Come in.”

Maxum opens the door, glances at the computer, and then thinks better of coming all the way inside. He stops, but Arran brushes past him to sit next to me on the futon. Apparently, shifters like Arran with little bonus magic rarely mess up computers.

“I couldn’t find Floofer,” Maxum tells me. “However, I successfully read Trouble’s mind without hurting him. I believe Floofer was a spy, and was likely working with Rob.”

“You’re sure Trouble wasn’t hurt?” I ask.

“Yeah. He’s demanding extra treats for eternity for his bravery, from what Calder translated for me.”

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