Page 44 of Between Realms

“I’ve tried. But some mistakes are too painful. It will take time to heal—maybe centuries.” Eldrin clasps my face. “And with you? Can you forgive me? I was so… callous. Treating you as if your body were to be bartered. I’m ashamed. And now I wonder, what if others didn’t want my advances?”

I stare at him, thinking of how to respond. He’s working through complicated issues, and honest answers are necessary. “I can’t speak for anyone else, but I found you attractive. However, I incorrectly assumed that you only wanted toseea mortal body. Although I enjoyed your touch… at first. I was also worried about refusing your offer. I thought if I denied your request that I was going to be sent to my death or banished to the mortal realm.”

“I wouldn’t have banished you if you said no.” Eldrin’s eyes implore me to believe him.

“How was I supposed to know?” I tear up.

“Oh, my sweet mortal.” Eldrin pulls me close. “I am such a monster. And I didn’t even know it!” He holds me for a moment and then sits up abruptly, letting me go. He sighs into his hand, shame filling his stormy blue eyes. “How can I ask you to forgive me? Perhaps you shouldn’t.” He stands up.

“Eldrin?” My brow crinkles with confusion. “Did you know any better before?”

He stops and considers me. “No. I believed my sexual partners always came to me willingly.”

“I don’t know what happened before me. Maybe I am just a naïve human who was desperate and agreed to a deal I didn’t fully understand.” I pause and ask, “But in the future, will you assume someone making a deal with you is there willingly?”

“Now that I know what I’ve done to you. No, of course not. I will never use sex as part of my dealings again.”

I sigh. “You really want me to be honest?”

He nods.

“I haven’t completely forgiven you for putting me in that situation. However, when I hear your desperation to be better, I can move toward forgiveness.”

Eldrin sits down on the bed. “Why are yougenuinelykind to me?”

“Because I don’t think you were trying to be mean to me.” I shrug. “But you have never had to think beyond yourself.”

“I haven’t even had to think about my kingdom yet.” Eldrin’s gaze is distant as he contemplates my words. “I’ve only thought of Oakes and Jaden, my most trusted, in what they were in relationtome.”

“It doesn’t have to be like that in your future,” I suggest.

“How do I become like you?” he asks earnestly.

“Me?” I laugh. “Why would you want to be like me?”

“You’re…good.” Eldrin leans in close and gazes into my eyes. “I can see it. You have a golden soul. So tell me how.”

“Stop.”

Eldrin pulls back. “Stop what?”

I grin, taken by his eagerness to listen and please me. “No. Before you do something, you must stop for a moment. Ask yourself what the other person might be going through. What do they care about? Are you hurting them? Is there anything you can do to lessen their pain?”

“Is that what you do?” Eldrin asks.

“I suppose it’s automatic now. But yes, I think of others or the realm when I make a decision. Not that what I do usually has any importance in harming others.”

Eldrin paces the room for a few moments. “What if I can’t imagine what someone wants or needs?”

“Ask.”

Eldrin booms out a laugh. “You must think me a fool. It’s so simple.”

“You’d be surprised. You aren’t the only one like this. I’ve read many accounts of people who never concern themselves with thinking about others. At least you wish to learn.”

He rubs his chin and stares at me. “I’ve never felt this close to anyone, and I would like to stay with you tonight. However, I amaskingfor an honest answer… Would you like me to leave?”

“Stay tosleep?” I pat the bed next to me.

---