Page 9 of The Circus

I miss the next step and nearly fall to my death. Vic catches me, awfully spry for something that looks like a living corpse. Gasping, I press my shoulders against the wall, and his brows raise in question, his hold on my bicep firm.

“I…didn’t know that.”

“Now ya do, sweetie, and I’d be cautious if I were you.”

We make it to the bottom, an aisle between the risers leading into the circus ring. It isn’t lit currently, but music still plays softly in the dusky space, a few of the other girls warming up and chatting. I’m the youngest one here by a mile.

“What’s he doing here?” I ask, Vic still supporting me as we make our way around the ring, to the back dressing room hallway. Above us, the red and white striped canopy top gentlyflutters in a breeze from the vents. After spending a year here, I know the ins and outs of this building like the back of my hand. Of course, I owe some of the credit to the dead, always.

They’re great tour guides when they want to be.

“Not sure. Daniel wants me training him. Going to off me, I s’pose.”

“But I perform withyou,” I mutter, confused and disgruntled. It begins to settle in that Teddy is here, that he saw me, that he knows a really fucking big secret about me. Not even my father knows where the money is coming from.

I lied and told him it was compensation from the state for…how they handled oursituationyears ago.

Vic chuckles, giving my shoulders a gentle squeeze.

“I am getting old, dearie.”

“He’s not throwing fucking knives at me.” I level him with a serious glare, my stomach twisting at the thought. I barely trust Vic to perform that little stunt with me. All the other girls sob the entire time and ruin the performance. But me…I think some deep, dark part of me is begging for the bite of a knife to sink into muscle and viscera.

It would end the pain of this world, that’s for sure.

“Never. You’re my favorite, remember?”

Flashing him a small grin, I nod. He doesn’t have favorites, not really, but I also know that he does, and it’s me.

With a sigh, he drops me at the girl’s dressing room door, and I waddle inside, closing the door behind me and slumping against it. Thank fuck it’s empty right now. I smack the back of my head against the cool metal a few times, fighting terrified and angry tears.

Because if Teddy Poe is here, it can’t be good.

If he knows my secret, it could ruin everything.

SIX

TEDDY

Cash is saying something,but I don’t hear him. I’ve stared at Eden, waiting patiently like a lion in the grass for her to look my way just once, fordaysnow.

It’s been three days (which is a lifetime to me), and she refuses to acknowledge me. She’s stubborn, I’ll give her that. It’s kind of a turn on. I’ve done nothing but fantasize about all the ways I’d like to fuck her, and it isn’t helping my obsession that I’m truly holding back for once in my life. If I allowed those voices to control me in this situation, I’d have already made her mine in every way that counts. Each time her eyes skirt past me, my obsession grows, snarling like a caged bear.

“Are you even listening?”

“No,” I grumble, dropping my glare to my tuna sandwich. Mom knows I hate tuna but forced it upon me this morning anyways as I ran out the door to catch the bus, saying I needed more protein in my diet. Would be convenient if Dick would drive me so I’d have more time to eat breakfast, but the one time she’d asked, he’d refused, saying the bus builds character.

“God, you dick, I said we need dates for prom. I refuse to go stag or with you. You’ve been all mopey lately. Go kill someone.”

I’d love to, starting with Dick. She’s there because of him, I know it. He has something on her, and she’s working to pay him off. It’s how he operates. But after Monday, she never came back. She also hasn’t been in gym class, so I can peg her absence on her ankle. Every night I get to that stupid fucking circus, every word Vic yammers goes in one ear and out the other, my mind forever searching for Eden.

“Eden’s dad. What more did you find out?” I ask, glancing at Cash for what feels like the first time in a week. He rolls his eyes, but I can tell he is trying to help me. If anyone understands my crazy ass, it’s him.

“Nothing. No next of kin. Nothing about a previous wife. They’ve lived here for four years, moved up from some small town in Oregon.”

“And for sure terminal?”

He nods solemnly. Although I was banned from telling my mom about Dick’s extra sources of income, he never told me I couldn’t say anything to Cash. Naturally, he is up to speed about everything, and just as confused as I am. Dick’s son’s business is shady as fuck, but I’ve yet to determine just how shady.

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