Page 77 of The Circus

It’s quiet, and the mist that normally keeps to the trees has drifted over the road in patches that swirl in the side mirror as we rush past them, forever drawing closer to the place I now consider my home. Without my father, I have no need for our little trailer. I’m not sure what will happen to it once I move our few things out here. The only certainty left in my life is Teddy.

And even he can be ripped from me if the universe decides to further torture me.

“Did he say what he had planned?” I ask, voice hushed. Teddy had Cash pick me up to bring me out here, and knowing him, there’s some devious plan he’s concocted. The closer we draw to the turn off, the more fried my nerves become.

Cash snorts.

“Knowing Teddy, it probably involves fucking or killing.” He glances at me and wrinkles his nose. “And knowing you two together, it’s probably both.”

A chill runs down my spine, one of foreboding, but also one of sick excitement. Teddy unearthed a dangerously dark side within me the night he killed that man.

I’ve replayed those moments over in my head on a loop since, fascinated with the way he slowly bled out, and insanely turned on knowing intimately the fingers that held the knife.

“It’s weird you know all this,” I grumble, crossing my arms, attempting to distract myself. He snorts.

“There are no secrets with Teddy. Better learn that now.”

“Has he…” I begin before I stop myself. Cash narrows his eyes at me, and I release a sigh. “Has he…slept with anyone at school?”

“Not our school, no. He’d tell you anything you wanted to know, Edie. Don’t be afraid of him like that.”

I am, though. There’s a realm of Teddy’s life that’s intimidating as hell. This side of him that hears voices, the side of him that kills, that makes such succinct and exacting decisions it’s frightening. He lives in a black and white world of his own morbid creation, and he’s genius enough to figure out exactly which move to always make.

In the end, Teddy will win the game of chess he’s been playing his entire life. He is the king of his kingdom, and truly the master of death. Spirits don’t often cower in the presence of someone alive.

But they reverently obey him.

How can I not be intimidated? What if someday he casts me aside for another, someone far more interesting and with far less baggage?

“Quit it,” Cash snaps.

“Quit what?” I grumble, glaring through the windshield.

“Thinking that shit. Thinking you’re not enough for him.Youare the reason for every move he makes, now, Eden.”

“But won’t he ever regret that?” I whisper, staring at my kneecaps through the slits in my jeans.

Cash snorts.

“Teddy doesn’t have the capability to regret anything, trust me.”

My smirk drips off my face as he slows to turn onto the bumpy gravel road.

And pulls to a stop.

“What—”

“Out. You’re causing Giselle too much strain. Teddy freakishly asked me to make you walk, anyways, so…pick you two up tomorrow!” He quips with a dimpled grin.

“To-tomorrow?” I stammer.

“Don’t worry. I’m sure he packed you fresh undies and a toothbrush. He’s thoughtful like that.”

“Gee, thanks,” I mutter, hotly embarrassed now. He chuckles and then reaches into the backseat.

“Before I forget, here,” he says, presenting me with a neatly wrapped square. The weight of it settles into my palms, and I quirk my brow up at him. He gives me a sheepish look and rubs the back of his neck. “From Juni. As a sort of ‘thanks for not ruining my life’ gift.”

Chewing the inside of my cheek, I nod. I’d spared her on Teddy’s gentle command, and we ended up not sending anything to the University of Washington. He may have let slip that her home life is terrible, and college will be her escape. If anyone understands that, it’s me, and Teddy knows I have a soft heart, however deep down I bury it. I peek up at Cash.

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