Page 73 of The Circus

“Have you ever smoked before?”

I snicker, nodding. “Yeah, last year with Chastity. She said it helps her perform, so I got high in the alley with her before I went on. Giggled the whole time Vic threw his knives at me, and he chewed my ass out afterwards.”

He chuckles. “Well this should be fun, then. You think you’ll giggle when my hand’s around your throat and I’m balls deep in your perfect little cunt?”

He reaches down, cupping my sex hard enough that the subtle pressure already has me teetering on the edge of an orgasm. Sobering as my cheeks flame, I stare meekly up at him,feeling that inner girl peeking out, wanting to play, desiring to provoke those voices until he snaps.

“Yes,” I murmur, blinking slowly up at him. Black engulfs the teal of his eyes as his pupils expand in a heartbeat. He presses his long middle finger harder into my jeans, and my cunt pulses. I need him in me. Need him to make me forget, just for a little while.Just for a little while. It’s not selfish, right?

His smile fades slowly, a seriousness there that tempers his playful side for a moment.

“You sure?”

I know where his mind has gone, and the tears rush forth up my throat as fast as a tsunami. Barely containing a sob, I jut my chin out, grit my teeth, and nod. “Please. Just make me forget.”

He releases me, rolling over and reaching to his desk. When he comes back, a tightly rolled joint is pinched in his deft fingers, that mischievous smile growing once more on his perfect lips. “Hope you don’t wanna forget everything.”

I roll my eyes, snatching the joint from him. Before I can bring the paper to my lips, both of my wrists are clasped tightly in his inhumanly strong hands, his body atop mine, pinning me to the mattress. Tendrils of dark hair brush against his moon-kissed forehead, and his eyes are as dark as night. Head cocked to the side in a predatory manner, he studies me, and I wonder with a strike of fear if this is what his victims see before they meet their ends at his hands.

At least he’s objectively beautiful to stare at. It wouldn’t be a bad way to go, having those teal eyes watch you cross from this life into the next.

He releases a soft snort and shakes his head, smirking.

“You’re not afraid of me, not at all, are you?”

“No?” I mumble, brows scrunched. Am I meant to be afraid of him? Even in his darkest moments, I’ve never been trulyterrified of him. He wouldn’t allow the voices to hurt me, not irreparably. He’s too obsessed with me to ever take it too far.

Maybe that’s why I like pushing him to the edge so much; I know he’d end himself before he ever risked me.

“Maybe I need to work on being more frightening, then,” he teases.

“I did watch you slit someone’s throat, you know.”

His smirk grows, as does something else. My cheeks flame as he presses his dick harder into me.

“You did so well, too,” he whispers huskily. “Now be a good girl and go get in the shower.”

I hate that his cheeky demand has me soaked for him already, but I did ask for this. I’ve never willingly surrendered my control to someone before, but of all people to give it to, I know Teddy will cherish it. So with a deep breath, I close my eyes and release everything from the past twelve hours, and nod.

FORTY-TWO

TEDDY

“Oh my fuckingGod,”Cash moans, chucking a rock at the brick façade of an innocent, local library in my neighborhood. Jumping to his feet from the curb, he turns to face Eden and I, currently perched on said curb, both of us wearing expressions of concern at his outburst. He holds his arms wide and glares at us. “You two are about as boring as watching fucking paint dry.”

“My dad just died, asshole,” Eden growls, but there’s dark humor painting her tone. She’s used it often this week as graduation approaches. A cover for her obvious pain, but I feel assured she isn’t keeping anything from me; I’ve held her while she’s sobbed at least a dozen times, made her grin while going through old photo albums as she prepares his small funeral. She’s allowing herself to feel what she needs to, and that’s all I can ask for.

Cash fists his hands on his hips, lips mashed together in a half frown, half tempered smile. “Can’t use that excuse forever, Edie.”

“Fuck off,” I say with a snort, leaning back and resting my palms on the gritty, damp pavement. There’s a bitter truth to his statement, but Eden doesn’t need that pain at the moment.

“All I’m saying,” he says, beginning to pace in front of us, “is that we’re seniors for like, two more days. Then we cross that stage, and we’re boring. Adults. Payingtaxes. Can wepleasedo something fun?”

At the end of his little speech, he clasps his hands together as though in fervent prayer, pouting down at us. I glance sideways at Eden and cock my brow at her. A little smile plays at the corners of her beautiful lips.

“Fine. Trip to St. Ignatius, anyone?” she asks, standing briskly and brushing pebbles off the back of her tight little jeans. My cock grows at the thought of spending another night out there with her, but Cash?—

“Fuck to the no, you little sadist,” he says, crossing his arms. She mirrors his stance, jutting out her bony hip and glaring at him, her hair as shiny and black as a raven’s wings, fluttering softly in the cool breeze drifting in off the Puget Sound. Everything is so peaceful, despite the sorrow looming in my heart for her. There’s a sort of cathartic release when someone who is in pain is finally out of it. It’s not something I know intimately yet, but something I can still resonate with, all the same.

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