Page 42 of The Circus

“Surprise?” I hiss.

He ignores me with a smile, but moments later, the door bursts open, and in marches Cash, proudly carrying three boxes of pizza. Behind him, his mom brings in a liter of soda and a polaroid camera.

And behind him, Teddy and his mom linger, Teddy holding something behind his back. Shocked, I stand, body trembling as my nerves short-circuit. When he crosses the threshold into the room, he brings forth a handmade poster board sign, the hues—black and red—matching the theme of the night with perfection. Glittery words jump out at me, along with two side profile faces of a girl and a boy—just like the album cover of my favorite band.

I’m not okay if you don’t go to prom with me, the sign reads, and he holds it for me to see, grinning boyishly but proudly.

“Let’s eat before I get shitfaced!” Cash laughs, sliding the pizzas onto a table and flipping open the lid. “Nice to meet you, Edie’s dad!”

“You arenotdrinking tonight, Cash Michael Johnson, and if I find out you do, you can kiss that car goodbye,” Betsy seethes in warning while her son just chuckles and stuffs his face. My dad laughs,loudly. Raw and radiant joy sparks in his eyes. He’s never had so many visitors before.

“Kids will be kids,” Tara says, glaring at the side of Teddy’s face. He continues to hold my gaze, waiting for my answer. Heart near to bursting, I nod, stepping away from my dad’s bed to lace our fingers together and pull him close.

“Dad,” I say, voice wavering with nerves. “Dad, this is Teddy.”

My dad grins softly up at him, sticking out his hand. They shake, and Teddy holds his gaze like a gentleman. “I promise to take care of her tonight, Sir. And every night hereafter, even if she doesn’t want me to. I’ve learned she’s quite the obstinate little shit.”

“Teddy, my God,” Tara hisses, shaking her head and hiding her face in her hands.

I bite my lip, unsure of how Teddy’s…well, Teddy-ish ways will seem to my militaristic father. Everyone is silent for a heavy beat, and then his raspy chuckle shakes his thinning frame, and I breathe a silent sigh of relief.

“Good to hear, son. She’s been alone for too long. And she is a little shit, but she’s a…special girl.”

Teddy beams, snaking his arm around my waist and pulling me into his warm side. It feels so good, his body next to mine, his scent strong in my nose, those sinuous muscles making me feel safe. My dad grins at us, eyes misting over. I reach for his hand, holding us all together as flowers bloom from the cracks in my heart.

TWENTY-FIVE

TEDDY

Ever since I was a kid,I never longed for the past. For those gloriousgood old days. When I think of my past, I think of watching my mom go through fucking hell every single day. She taught me how to do makeup, because I used to help her cover her bruises. I didn’t understand what they were from until I was a little older, but once I did, I stopped aiding her. Told her to leave that piece of shit sperm donor. But she never would, and I’ll never understand, just as I’ll never blame her for staying.

Nostalgia is a decrepit liar, painting the past in wide brushstrokes, muddying your view until you see the good and the bad becomes murky.

The theme of this year’s prom is “Time of Your Life,” like that Green Day song. And for the first time since I came into existence, I want to cement this night into my memory, want something to feel nostalgic towards when life becomes too heavy again, because I know it will.

It always does.

So as I pull Eden over the threshold and into the main gym, silver, glinting streamers swaying in the breeze as innumerable bodies dance to popular music, I grin. And with each shockedface that turns our way, my smile grows all the wider. Eden’s hand becomes sweaty in mine, but I give her a squeeze and glance down at her.

“They’re going to love ruining our lives on Monday,” she whispers, voice timid and just barely rising above the noise from the speakers. She glances up at me.

“So let’s fucking ruin theirs tonight.”

She beams, ethereal and radiant, more alive than I’ve ever seen her before. Cash sidles up to us, effectively ruining the moment as he tugs on his lapels.

“I’ll see you two at…” he checks his watch theatrically. “Eleven sharp. We have a long ride ahead of us, and I need to go find Brant’s girlfriend. She owes me a BJ.”

“Juniper?” Eden hisses. Cash just winks and strides off, and Eden turns her shocked and questioning stare up to me. I’m thankful this has distracted her from not wanting to be anywhere near these assholes. I only feel a little bad making her go to prom, but I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to show everyone the girl who ismine.

“Hmm?” I ask, quirking my brow at her. She swats me.

“Teddy, you know. Tell me.”

“Didn’t think you were one for gossip, Miss Clemm.”

“That’s…this is not…”

I watch her flounder, my smile growing, the voices gnashing their teeth in preparation for tonight. I haven’t stroked my dick once since she asked me to fuck her. I’ll do my best to hold back tonight, but I doubt I’ll be able to completely.

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