Page 34 of The Circus

Gently, he sets it down and glances at me. “Are you Alaska?”

I smile, shaking my head. “Why don’t you read it and tell me?”

He nods. I don’t have the heart to tell him how it ends, but there’s something so beautiful about that level of tragedy. How one moment, life is flowing through your veins…

And the next, you’re one of the ghosts that haunt me. I’m thankful he hasn’t pushed that topic any further tonight, but I know it’s coming, a conversation I can’t avoid.

Distracted by my thoughts, I don’t notice that he’s standing at the edge of my bed, that he’s reached behind his head to grip his sweatshirt and pull it over his frame. My mouth runs dry, eyes zeroing in on his abs, his shoulders much more broad than I initially thought. In a few years, I can see how those muscles will grow and fill out, a young man fully entering and embracing his masculinity.

“Scoot over.”

“What? N-no!” I hiss, glancing behind him to my open door, worried for my father to walk through, something that I know is impossible. He snorts.

“God, Eden, I’m tired, too.”

He plucks the mug from my hand and sets it on my desk, returning to me, fists pressing into the mattress as he cages me in. With our faces mere inches apart, I have a striking view of those eyes. They’re even more devastating up close. My heart is hammering, pulsing in my ears and…down lower. A ball of fire is centered in my chest, burning straight through me, his teal eyes dancing and playful.

“We’re sharing a bed on Saturday. Practice makes perfect and all that shit, right?” he teases.

“But…but…” I flounder. He chuckles, climbing in and enveloping me in his sturdy embrace, pulling me down until we’re facing one another, my head resting on his bicep, one of hislegs thrown over both of mine. His back is to the door, his body shielding me, and I sink into this moment, suddenly exhausted because I feel safe for the first time in so long.

For once, I’m not alone.

“See? Not so bad, right?”

I stare at his chest, inhaling his scent straight from the source, my head woozy, my skin sweltering. Ever since he agreed to sleep with me, it’s like my body knows what’s coming, and I’ve had to change my underwear multiple times a day just from thinking about him, or being near him. If his presence alone makes me wet…then what the fuck is Saturday going to be like?

Gently, he brings his hand up and cups my head, pulling me closer until I’m tucked under his chin, my fingers splayed over the warm, smooth skin of his chest. My eyes flutter closed as those deft fingers play in my hair, and I beam, thankful he can’t see how much I am enjoying this, how much I’ve missed physical contact.

Goosebumps litter my body, the devastation of his touch a beautiful storm I am willingly trapped in. Slowly, our measured breaths sync up, and I begin to fall asleep, nuzzling closer to his protection in my dreamy state. The last thing I remember before I slip into peace is the soft rumbling of his deep voice, lulling me into slumber.

“Sleep, Eden. I’ve got ya.”

TWENTY-ONE

TEDDY

Saturday.

“Fuck,”Cash hisses, breathless as we drop the queen sized mattress to the floor. It thuds resoundingly through the empty, desolate asylum, a cloud of dust probably filled with mites and asbestos rising from the floor. Sweat dots both our foreheads, and with his hands on his hips, he flashes me a cocky grin. “Okay, fine, you win. She’s cool. Wish I would’ve snagged her before you.”

Crouching to push the mattress (one we stole from Cash’s parents’ guest bedroom) kitty-corner, I smirk up at him. “Snooze ya lose.”

He grins, eyeing the room I chose to take her virginity in. Tonight.Soon. Just hours away. I’ve had a raging boner all fucking day, but at least carting this mattress up three flights of rickety stairs has exhausted me somewhat.

Falling back onto my ass, I reach for the plastic bag with the grocery store’s logo emblazoned on the front, dragging it across the ancient wooden floors and fishing out the candles we boughtdown in Hangman Hollow. The cashier—an elderly woman a step away from death—had eyed us with knowing suspicion, as though selling a bunch of unscented candles of varying heights and widths was actually a common occurrence. I’m sure the town is used to teens and freaks using the asylum to attempt to perform seances, but I know none of them have succeeded.

Only Eden can speak with the dead, that I am damn sure of, and quite fucking attracted to as well.

“What time am I picking you two up?”

“Early,” I mutter, standing with a candle in each hand, eyeing the space like an artist before a blank canvas. Who ever would have thought that I, Teddy Poe, would be stressed about candle placement, but here I am. I need this to be perfect for her. “We gotta get back soon. I still have to help my mom with the dress…and convince her to buy us strawberry wine.”

Cash, sticking his head out the window and looking down, pulls himself back in and gives me a queer look. “Why the fuck would you wanna drink that sugary paint thinner?”

Nestling a few candles in one corner, I scrutinize my work, satisfied enough for now. Stalking past him, I grab a few more and place them on the left side of the windowsill. “Because. I read her favorite book, and the girl buries strawberry wine around their boarding school at the beginning of the year. Brilliant, I might add. We should’ve buried some flower by the fieldhouse.”

Jaw slackened, he stares at me and nods slowly. “Dammit! That would’ve been so fucking convenient. Why did you ever try to talk me out of being friends with her?”

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