Page 23 of The Circus

Sinking into the hard plastic seat in the very back, Teddy follows and traps me against the window, pinning me with his dark presence. I keep my hood up, avoiding his prying questions, disgruntled that I have to answer them in the first place but acknowledging that I dug this grave myself.

Sort of.

Dick and Daniel handed me the shovel.

“Eden,” comes his sultry voice, a hint of humor winding around the syllables of my name. I like the way it sounds, coming from deep in his chest and out through his perfect lips, and my cheeks flame to life anew.

Reaching down into my bag, I produce a notebook and a pencil, flipping it open to a blank page, scrawling down a set of coordinates I have memorized, and ripping the sheet from the metal rings. Folding it a few times, I glance around before handing it to him. Daniel’s threat about remaining a virgin until I’m forced to give it to some shady fucker is a constant warning bell in my head. I can’t take any chances. Asking Teddy to do this puts us both at risk, but I’m selfish enough to go through with it despite all of the unknowns.

His long, deft fingers pluck the paper from my hand, and he snorts as he unfolds it, glancing at the numbers and degree symbols. Brow furrowing in annoyance, I glare at him. Those stunning eyes of his dance, his black hair damp and pushed back, long on the top and shorter on the sides.

He holds up the paper between his fingers, smirk growing. “What are we, Seal Team Six?”

Crossing my arms, I sink down in my seat and deepen my glare, the bus bumping along the pothole filled streets of Seattle.

“There’s no address for it,” I hiss, feeling surly. He tucks the paper away in his own bag, leaning back.

“Fine. I like a challenge, anyways.”

Biting my lip, I keep my eyes on the window, watching droplets of rain streak down the panes, my heart fluttering constantly, my emotions at war with the logical side of my brain. What we’re doing could get us both a one way ticket to a lifetime membership at the circus. It could end my father’s life before I graduate. It could land me in jail. I’m not sure what dirt they have on Teddy, if any, but guilt gnaws at the frayed edges of my heart for dragging him down into this with me.

We both stew in silence for longer than normal. Teddy usually can’t go thirty seconds without pushing my buttons, and after a while, I glance at him, unfamiliar concern swirling in the depths of my empty stomach.

His arms are crossed, his jaw clenched, and he glares straight ahead, something…something really, really dark lingering in that unyielding gaze. It’s sort of frightening, the magnitude of it, and I’m not sure why, or who it’s directed at, but my anxiety forces the words past my lips unbidden.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper.

His eyes slice to mine so quickly it stuns me into stoney stillness. My heart stops, blood cooling in my veins. His brows pull lower over his eyes as he studies my face. After a moment, he shakes his head, dispelling some of that hellish darkness from a moment before.

“For what, Eden? You have nothing to be sorry for.”

Fiddling with my hands, I shrug, holding his gaze. “I…kind of forced you into this, and it was stupid, and I’m sorry?—”

I’m cut off, his hand lashing out quickly, fingers pinching my cheeks and palm resting over my lips, halting my words. Hecontinues to stare deeply into my eyes, his grip tightening more each second, and heat flares through me, my heart restarting and forcing that congealed blood through my veins.

“No,” he says, the word delivered quietly but forcefully, his teeth clenched. Before I realize what I’m doing, I nod against his grip, acquiescing to his undeniable power. A slow, sinuous smirk crawls onto his lips, and he releases me. “I’m sorry. Today was just…a little shitty, but it’s better now.”

“Oh,” I mutter, relief flooding me.

He crosses his arms, holding my gaze with a bemused expression on his face. “Cash is mad I asked you to prom.”

“Oh,” I say again, this time with a shocked raise of my brows. After my interaction with Cash’s mom, I find it surprising that he’s upset, but the longer I stare at Teddy, the more it begins to sink in, and my brows raise even further.

“Oh…is he…was he wanting to go with…you?” I ask, the suggestion there. Being queer in Seattle is quite accepted, but Seattle Prep is a different story. Teddy chuckles, shaking his head and raking his hand through his hair.

“Not in that sense, no. He’s just…protective of our friendship. It’s been us two for a long time, and he’s thinking about leaving in the fall for boot camp.”

“You know,” I hedge, smoothing down the pleats of my itchy wool skirt. His eyes follow the motion like a cat hunting a mouse. If he had a tail, I’m sure the end would be flicking, his instinct to pounce overwhelming. I don’t understand his newfound interest in me, and maybe it’s because of the circus, or maybe it really is because we’re both freaks, but I’m starting to like the way he looks at me. I like the way he notices the little things, and I need to stop liking it now before it festers in my soul and grows into something more. “We don’t have to go to prom.”

He rolls his eyes, casually throwing his arm around my shoulders. Warmth seeps from him through my rain jacket, andI shiver, enjoying this closeness and his intoxicating scent far too much. I shrug him off with a glare, but he’s still grinning, unperturbed by my obstinance.

“Yeah, we do. Rite of passage, and part of our little deal.”

“I told you, I don’t have a dress.”

He sighs in annoyance and rolls his eyes again. “Do you have amnesia? I toldyou, I’ll take care of everything.”

“How are you going to convince Dick and Daniel to let us have Saturday off?” I fire back, looking for any way out of this part of the deal. I’d almost rather spill the real reason I asked him to fuck me, if it means not being paraded around in front of my bullies, more fodder for their fires.

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