Page 22 of The Circus

All grand ideas, and it fills me with a sense of peace as I allow them to speak, each voice distinct and forceful. They know her time is soon, and so being patient and enduring this is the smallest bit easier.

The office doors shut quietly behind us, phones ringing and a printer whirring while the thick scent of black coffee permeates the air. Through the glass windows, a few late students slink by in the hallway, but Mrs. Smite is quick to catch them.

“You have mail, Megan!” one of the office ladies quips to Miss Goss.

“I’ll get it after my appointment. Thank you, Dotty,” she says, voice sickly sweet. We continue down a back hallway to her office at the very end. A dank, cramped space I’m sure she detested until she figured out she could rape me and get away with it. I’m no stranger to enduring hellish circumstances, I just have to wonder (with what little hope in me remains) when they’ll end. When will my life just be…peaceful? And by that time, will I even be able to enjoy it, as fucked up as this journey has been so far?

She allows me in before she follows, shutting and locking the thick oak door. The chair—the seat and back of plush leather, the arms of sturdy wood—jumps out at me, so stark and filled with such detestable memories. Even the scent in here—some sort of vanilla lotion with hints of sugar—makes me sick.

Slipping my book and binder onto her desk, I sit dejectedly, praying like every time that I’ve somehow developed erectile dysfunction. I was so angry at myself the first time, so furious with my body for betraying my soul in such a way. Now, I’m just resigned.

She giggles behind me, giddy at having me all to herself in her lair. Like every time, she kicks off her heels, pulls up her too-tight skirt, and straddles me. Reaching her hand down between us, she cups me, rubbing me until I begin to harden. I look anywhere but her face, my fingers gripping the arms of the chair so hard I hope they break.

“Relax,” she breathes, voice fanning over my face, her curtain of hair obscuring my view of anything but her. When our eyes catch, I see nothing but hedonistic desire and raw lust in hers, along with a predatory glint. Her jaw clenches, a flicker of anger behind her eyes. She always threatens me, uses her power to manipulate and control me.Not much longer, I promise the voices. Maybe I’ll cut her up into little pieces but keep her alive so she can watch as maggots devour them. That wouldn’t makeup for the three years of molestation, but it would at least quell that particular festering wound.

Her fingers fumble with my zipper, but she eventually frees me, coaxing me until I’m hard enough. My eyes slip closed. I refuse to make a single noise as she sinks down onto me, instead biting my tongue until I taste blood. She moans quietly in her sickening ecstasy, and every muscle in my body tenses as I fight the urge to pin her by the throat against the wall and choke the life out of her.

“God, you’re so…big…so good,” she breathes, bouncing on my lap, simply using me to masturbate. Bile rushes up my throat, bringing with it the plain, stale bagel I’d grabbed from the counter this morning before I rushed to catch the bus. I focus on that, on my morning, how I raced home at the crack of dawn to shower and eat and change after I ensured Eden was safe. It annoyed me, not being able to watch her get on the bus to school, but seeing her in the hall running to class soothed that worry away.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

She bounces harder, faster, and for the first time in three years, when she climaxes, I don’t. Shivering as she comes down from her stolen high, our eyes meet. Instantly, I go soft inside her, and her brow crinkles, fear rippling across her forehead.

I sneer, hand lashing out, fingers curling one by one around her throat as I lift her off of me and stand. She tries to gasp, her eyes bulging, her legs kicking and hands clawing at my arm as she sways by her neck, my hand the noose. My vicious smile grows, her skin turning pink, then red, then as purple as Eden’s eyes.

MyEden.

“Someday, I’m going to kill you,” I swear, a newfound strength residing in my bones, a new reason for me to fight, to stay alive.

Eden.Mine.

Miss Goss’ mouth gapes as she struggles to remain conscious. I know I’ll leave bruises, but I don’t give a fuck anymore. I see it in her eyes, know she believes my threat, especially as she dangles in the air.

Slowly, I bring her back to earth, and she wrenches away from me, clutching her desk and gasping in heaping lungfuls of oxygen.

“You…you’re…done,” she rasps, a pathetic attempt to threaten me. So quickly she doesn’t fight it, I lash out and grip her hair, pinning her with my body to her desk, smashing her face into the wood.

Her terrified eyes find mine.

“I have bigger problems than you now,” I hiss. “You’re going to die at my hands. And not even the Devil himself will be able to stop me.”

FOURTEEN

EDEN

The day fliesby in a blur, with not many chances to speak with Teddy. So as I stand in the drizzly Seattle spring, hood pulled up, I don’t notice the dark figure next to me right away. When he speaks, I jump, clutching at my racing heart, glaring at him.

“Decide on a place yet?”

His smirk broadens at my fear-stricken face. Exhaling slowly to calm myself down, I say, “No…well, maybe.”

He quirks a brow, and over my shoulder, I can hear the bus approaching as it splashes through the puddles. My raincoat traps the heat my body is suddenly exuding in his presence, and my skin becomes clammy. Those eyes of his are dangerous, not just because they’re beautiful, but because they see everything you don’t want them to see. He’s kind of a genius, and that’s scary, too. His classes are all AP, and he’s nipping at my heels for valedictorian. It’s only because he failed gym freshman year that he hasn’t surpassed me.

“That sounds like a yes. Your place?”

The reality of what we’re about to do soon settles in my stomach like a rock. My cheeks heat further, but I quickly shake my head. Our bus pulls to a stop, and I board it withouthesitation. Teddy follows silently, a cocky smirk still plastered to his lips. Lips that will probably kiss me, right?

God, I’ve never even been kissed before.Way to jump right off into the deep end, Eden, asking someone like Teddy Poe to fuck you. Something tells me he wants to devour me whole, and I don’t know whether to be frightened or…turned on?

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