Page 19 of The Circus

Peeking up at Teddy from beneath my lashes, I bite my lip and cross my arms, shaking as a sudden chill befalls us. It’s dark back here, and the storm outside rages, rain pelting the panes of stained glass so hard it sounds like marbles being thrown at it. Thankfully, it must drown out the rampant beating of my heart. His teal eyes blaze down at me, his expression stony and unreadable. He’s tall, so tall, crowding my space with his presence alone. But his scent, now familiar to me, is a comfort, and if he says yes, then I’ll close my eyes when we do it and just breathe him in so I don’t panic.

“Eden,” he says finally, a small smile on his full lips. He’s so beautiful it hurts, and I hate that for four years, he’s held every ounce of my attention, while I gained nothing in return. I must look like a desperate fool, and I’m about to run away. With a shake of my head, I move to push past him, but his arm strikes out far too quickly to be normal, his hand gripping the shelf on the other side, effectively caging me in with his lithe body. Stunned into stillness, ice creeps into my veins as his smile grows, that sinister glint entering his eyes. “Say it. Say you want me to fuck you.”

Now would be an excellent time for Mrs. Spencer to catch us. I’d gladly take detention in exchange for being removed from this situation I created. My cheeks flush so hotly I begin to break out in a cold sweat, but I bury my embarrassment and glare at him.

“No.”

His brow quirks, and he’s suddenly an impish, playful schoolboy.

“No? Shame.”

He’s being coy, because he knows I’ll say it, because the fucker can read me like a book and must see how desperate I am. Grinding my molars, I take a steadying breath and deepen my glare.

“I…” I croak, clearing my throat.Nice, Eden, you try to be intimidating but you’re just a weird little freak. “I want you to…to…fuck me,” I say, breathing the last part so it’s barely a whisper.

His smile flourishes, but it isn’t good-natured, or kind. It’s…terrifying. Dark.Ominous. His eyes are worse, though, his pupils expanding and pushing out the blue in the span of time it takes me to say those words. Even his hand, still gripping the shelf to my left, clenches so tightly his knuckles turn bone white.

“How do you want me to fuck you, Eden?”

Oh my God.

Fire burns through me, casting out the chill I’d felt a moment ago, but it settles at the apex of my thighs, an ache blooming there that is familiar, but one that has never been so potent. My heart races so hard it drowns out the pounding of the rain. He’s smirking at me, and if I didn’t know him better, I’d think he was being cocky with that statement. But I feel like I do know him, somehow, and I seem to understand that it isn’t arrogance painting his tone, but raw desire. Desire I can’t fathom, but desire so overwhelming and powerful that it’s consuming him whole.

I shake my head, jittery and nervous again, because I don’t know. I mean, obviously…gently, right? Do I have to answer him this time? Because the second I open my mouth, he’s going to realize how out of bounds I am. “I…I don’t know.”

His eyes simmer, the fire banked for now, and the intensity he was just exuding cools off, but only just.

“Why do you want this?” he asks, motioning between us. A question I expected him to have, and rightly so. My lie is well-rehearsed, thank fuck.

“Because…when I’m done…working,” I say, lest Dick round the corner and catch us. “...then I’m going to college, and I want to…be normal, for once. I want to be somewhat…experienced.” It takes effort to choke out that lie, and I doubt he buys it, but he nods all the same, playing along for my sake.

Teddy is far too cunning to believe me wholeheartedly. But if I can keep him guessing until the deed is done, then I’ll have succeeded in my endeavor.

“Fair enough,” he muses, eyes tracing every pore on my face. His attention lately has been unyielding, and intense, and I don’t get it. I want to be angry, lash out and demand to know why he chose now, right before we graduate, to show any interest in me. On the flip side, I don’t want to push him away now that I know how it makes me feel.

Warm. Seen. Safe. Things I only ever dreamed of, but the real thing is far more devastating.

“If I say yes,” he says, eyes flicking quickly between mine. “Then I have conditions you’d have to agree to.”

Somehow, I expected this as well, because Teddy Poe would never make this easy on me. He seems to like watching me squirm, and that thought has more heat centering between my thighs. I rub them together beneath my skirt absentmindedly, and wetness begins to pool in my underwear. His eyes flick downward, catching me in the act, and when they find mine again, they are positively feral.

Attempting to distract him, I nod quickly. “O-of course, what are they?”

He grits his teeth so hard his temples flare along with his squared jaw, but he smirks, still playing at nonchalance when weboth know there’s something transpiring between the two of us right now. Something formidable. Something intrinsic.

“One,” he says, holding up a finger, “you tell me the real reason you want me to fuck you. Two, we ride the bus together every night until we make good on this deal, and three…”

Heart in my throat as his smile blossoms, he finishes his demands with a flourish. “You go to prom with me. If you want the high school experience, then we’re going all out.”

Jaw clenched, I fight the wordNoas it dances on the tip of my tongue. Go toprom? Be paraded around and made fun of more than I already am? And, despite how I feel about Teddy, despite the fact I find him utterly and devastatingly beautiful, we’re the freaks. Everyone would have a hay day, seeing us together. “I don’t have a dress.”

He smirks.

“Simple fix.”

My lips press together in annoyance.

“Ididtell you the real reason.”

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