Page 16 of The Circus

EDEN

More often than not,I wish my cover of working at a fancy restaurant was real, and that I didn’t have to watch my back every other step the moment I get off the bus and descend into the hell of the circus. It feels sacreligious, being here on a Sunday, the emptiness of the place eerie and foreboding. Seattle has its dark side of history, a city built upon another city, leaving tunnels and dank spaces for evil to breed. This building is reminiscent of that history.

Seated before Dick, I twiddle my thumbs nervously, fighting the urge to bite my lip to shreds. Daniel stands behind his father, arms crossed, smug little smirk plastered to his face. Dick scrawls something on an envelope and shoves it aside, capping his pen and finally glancing at me. Thank fuck I only ever had to take one of his math classes. Feeling his beady eyes on me at school is hard enough to bear.

“You did well last night, as did…Teddy,” he says, forcing out his step son’s name. It’s sickening to think they’re related, that they all saw my bare breasts last night. My cheeks heat at the reminder.

“Th-thank you,” I mutter quietly. He clasps his papery hands together, staring at me over the brim of his glasses. Daniel shifts from foot to foot behind him, as excitable as a puppy. And Daniel being excited is never a good thing, I’ve learned.

“We would like to extend you an offer. One of our patrons rather enjoyed…you. We would be willing to cut down your debt to one year instead of five if you agree to this…”

Already, I want to bite at the chance to say yes, hope flaring to life in my chest. I rock forward, shoving my hands under my thighs so I don’t jump across the desk and agree without hearing the terms.

“What…what will I have to…to do?”

A private dance? The thought is sickening, but shaving four years off my sentence would be a dream come true. I could force myself to dance on someone for that. I’d be able to go to college if I only had one year left here.

Dick smirks, glancing behind him at his son for a moment. When his eyes settle back on mine, a cold, heavy chill settles in my stomach.

“We know your mother is…quite the religious zealot,” he begins, and my confusion turns to watery fear at the mention of her. How he discovered that bitch, I don’t care to know, but I want her and all of her mindless drones to stay as far away from me as fucking possible. “Therefore, it’s safe to assume you’re still a virgin, yes?”

My eyes go so wide they water, and I glance between father and son so quickly I give myself a headache. Daniel chuckles, smirking at me like I’m his favorite meal he’s about to devour. Dick continues.

“Our most illustrious client is willing to pay…well, what I think is an egregious amount,” he says, and I feel as though I am strapped into a guillotine, face up, waiting for the blade to fall and slice my head from my body, severing the connection tolife forever. “For your innocence. Should you refuse him and this offer, then our deal is null and void. I will withdraw payments immediately.”

A strange, insanely loud buzzing fills my ears as he continues to speak, his lips moving but no words discernable. He’s joking, right? He wants me to sleep with someone to cut down my debt, but if I refuse, then he’s taking away my father’s peaceful and painless death?

I am a virgin, that much is true, but it’s not because my mother is a religious zealot. She was grooming me to be a child bride before my father won that custody battle. No, I’m still a virgin because I’m a freak and no one wants me, but I also don’t wantthem. I don’t want attachment, despise the thought of being that vulnerable with anyone. Last night was the closest I ever came to being intimate, and I was having knives thrown at me, for fuck’s sake.

“Think on it quickly,” Daniel snarls. “This client is…important.”

“Wh-When…when would I…” I stumble breathlessly. The world tilts and spins, as though I’m on that vomit-inducing fair ride.

“He’s away on business for two weeks. But upon his return,” Dick answers smoothly, as though he’s talking about the exchange rate between the US and Canadian dollar and not the exchanging of my innocence for cold hard cash. A bitter part of me wants to ask how much this fucker is willing to pay to sleep with ateenager—a girl who just turned eighteen in March—but I bite my tongue and swallow my pride, my father’s eyes forever in my mind. I can’t let him die on the streets, not like that…

“Your little prank from last year will be…advertised as well, Eden, if you don’t comply.”

Another punch straight to the gut. This isn’t a fucking deal they are offering; they’re just twisting the knife of blackmailuntil I scream and relent. If they let spill that I stole Cadence Smith’s windshield wipers the day of that storm, I will go to jail, no questions. Her father is the county prosecutor. It was all over the news when it happened, how he threatened to find whoever played that prank and nearly killed his baby girl.

Wasn't technically my fault that Cadence is dumb as a box of rocks and chose to drive knowing full well she had no way to see through the rain. She wrapped her pretty little BMW around a tree that night, and Dick, of all people, had seen me steal the wipers and shove them in the trash near the fieldhouse.

To be fair, that was the day she’d rounded up a week’s worth of used tampons and strung them up in my locker. Did she get in trouble? Was there ever an investigation to see who had bulliedme?

Mind racing a thousand miles an hour, Daniel chuckles. “Tick, tock, Eden. Way I see it, your choice is already made.”

Bile rises up my throat, threatening to spew forth all over the desk. Dick would probably faint at the sight.

I can’t do this, I can’t, I can’t, I chant in my mind.But I have to, I have to, think of dad, think of him suffering, think of him finding out that the money from the VA ran out, think of him discovering your secrets. That alone would kill him. He would miss my graduation, which is the only thing keeping him going right now.

I have to see you graduate, lovebug, he’d told me when he found out the cancer had returned and was in his pancreas.I have to see my baby girl cross that stage.

I can’t take that from him. Virginity is a social construct anyways, right?Right?

Heart thumping, time slowing to a crawl as I come to the harrowing decision that I know I have no choice in, I swallow my fear, raise my eyes, and nod once. “Fine. One year, though.”

Dick nods, satisfied, pulling another piece of paper in front of him as though we weren’t just discussing prostitution. Daniel grins like a giddy child, smoothing his hands together.

“Keep your cunt to yourself between now and then, got it?” he growls.

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