Page 33 of Might as Well

“I’m going over to see Savannah tonight if you want to come,” Zane says, bring my attention back to him.

I pause before nodding. “Okay. I can go.” In all honesty, I don’t want to go and be surrounded by happy people. It’s hard sometimes when my life has been anything but for so long. Atthe same time, I don’t want to give up the time with Zane either. So much so that I’ll hang out with the little girl.

“Babe?” I look over at him and he says, “I don’t have to go see Savannah if you don’t want me to.”

Did my tone give away more than I intended? Guilt eats at me. Savannah is cute as button and she apparently looks forward to regular visits from Zane.

“She’ll see me for a few tomorrow,” he adds.

“Who’s Savannah?”

We both turn at Graham’s question.

“My teammate’s daughter.”

“Teammate?” he questions with confusion.

“Yeah. I play for the Rebels.”

Graham’s brows rise. “The Carolina Rebels hockey team?”

“Yeah.”

My heart stalls. Graham hasn’t shown any interest in my life in a long time. The fact that he’s even asking Zane questions seems like a huge step forward.

“Hockey’s stupid.” He heads into the kitchen without another word, causing Zane to laugh. Well, that’s still better than nothing.

We continue to place ornaments on the tree, nearly finished. Vaguely, I can hear Graham talking softly on the phone, but a few minutes later, he plops onto the couch, looking white as a sheet.

“What’s wrong?” I ask, immediately going over to him.

“My girlfriend’s pregnant.”

I sway on my feet.Girlfriend?And she’spregnant?I didn’t even know he was seeing anyone. Why wouldn’t he tell me that at least? Does he go see her when he’s going to his “friend’s” house?

Graham.

A father.

Oh, God.

“I think…I think I’m going to join the military. The Marines. I was thinking about it anyway since I need to get a better job, but it definitely seems like the right move now. We can get married and they’ll bump my pay a little for it. I’ll go back, talk to the recruiter again, and sign the contract,” he says more to himself than to anyone else.

Wait. Abetterjob? That implies he already has one. Since when? And he’s already talked to a recruiter?

Before I can think, my hand swings out and slaps him. “Are you fucking kidding me, Graham? I said I wanted us to be on good terms because all we’ve got is each other and you want to join the damnmilitary? You could die! Have you lost your fucking mind?”

Part of me is proud he’s finally making a move to take care of himself, but the fear trumps everything. He doesn’t even have to see combat to die in the service. There’s press every so often about service members dying during training exercises.Training. If he dies, I’ll be alone. His girlfriend won’t have a partner to help raise their baby. His kid won’t have a father.

There has to be a less dangerous job for him. The idea of him joining has my heart in my throat, bile rising and ready to spew out, and my head feeling faint.

A hand on my lower back startles me. “Babe, why don’t you go take a breather?” Zane’s voice is almost painfully gentle and then he nudges me toward the hallway. I’m so flabbergasted at the turn of events with my brother, I wordlessly disappear down the hallway to my bedroom. What the hell am I supposed to do now?

CHAPTER 10

ZANE

Itake a seat and observe Graham. The look of horror after Violet slapped him still hasn’t left and his face continues to redden. He seems frozen in place.

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