Page 19 of Might as Well

She eyes me warily before she gets distracted by the candy in Zane’s hand. We don’t make it too far into the house before the door opens behind us.

“Lo-Lo!” Savannah abandons us and runs over to a man who walks in with a woman.

I watch as yet another man who is clearly wrapped around this little girl’s finger greets her as if she is also their favorite person. My chest burns at the sight of all the love in the room. The ache grows when Sydney rounds the corner with a little boy walking next to her, holding her hand.

This is what I miss. Cassie is great and all, but she’s just one person and she’s not my parents. She’s not my grandma. They are all gone. For his attitude, Graham might as well be gone too. It feels like they’ve been gone forever. Like it’s been so long since we were all in a room together, just enjoying time with the people we love. It’s heartbreaking to think I might never experience that again.

“Violet? You okay?” Zane asks me softly. It takes me a moment to realize we’re the only ones left in the foyer.

“Yeah. Sorry, let’s catch up with them.”

He eyes me for a moment before tugging me through the house. Everyone takes a seat at the table and Zane leads us to a pair of chairs.

“What are you waiting on, little Miss?” Ian asks Savannah, who stands off to the side.

“I want to sit next to Lo-LoandZ.”

Lo-Lo sits across from Zane, but her dad has an easy solution. “Come sit with me then.” He holds his hand out to herand she climbs into his lap as he sits at the head of the table between them.

“Violet, this is Logan, my brother, and his girlfriend, Kayla. Violet is Zane’s girlfriend,” Sydney says.

We exchange pleasantries as everyone seems to dive in to make their plates.

“Did you find an office space, Violet?” Sydney asks. I’m surprised she paid attention and remembered the latest with my job.

“I did, yeah.”

Sydney asks me a few more questions about my work, which leads Kayla to asking more about what I do as well. It’s nice to get to know these people better, especially since they seem to be good friends with Zane. I’m surprised when Kayla takes interest in my work, even asking if I’m looking for help as she’d love to find new part-time work. The interest gives me a little anxiety, though. Hopefully, it doesn’t show. I don’t exactly know any of these people and having someone else get involved in my business is something I haven’t quite got over yet.

Sydney also invites me to an upcoming home game, which I promise to consider attending. I want more people in my life so bad, yet I hesitate to welcome them in at the same time. There were people in my life and they’ve either died or let me down catastrophically. Part of me retains an irrational fear that it’ll continue to happen.

“How was trick-or-treating?” Zane asks Ian. Or maybe Savannah, but Ian answers him.

“The spouses put together like a mini fall festival for the kids, so she got to play some games and then go trunk-or-treating. You had fun, didn’t you, Savannah?”

She nods as she takes a bite of a chicken nugget. It’s kind of surprising to hear a group of spouses put together an event forthe kids, but maybe that’s normal with them? No wonder Zane said they were like a family.

After dinner, Zane and Logan end up playing hide-and-seek with Savannah. I help Sydney and Kayla clean up in the kitchen.

“Can I ask a personal question?” Sydney asks me.

“Sure.”

“What made you marry Zane? Like how did it actually happen?”

Kayla gives me a surprised glance, that likely mirrors the look I’m giving Sydney.

“Zane didn’t tell y’all?”

She shakes her head. “He just told us he got married in Vegas. He hasn’t shared many details. Is that the ring?” She nods toward my right hand. When I nod, she adds, “It’s gorgeous.”

“Thanks.” I’m not sure if I should divulge details if Zane hasn’t. “Let’s save the story for another day.” Once I can ask Zane what he wants to share.

Before I know it, we’re heading out. It was a nice night. If I was unsure of Sydney before, I can easily confirm she seems like a nice person after tonight. It’s also clear she and Ian think highly of Zane and wish to see him happy.

It’s not until I realize we’re heading to my house that I feel a tad disappointed to not be going to Zane’s. We haven’t spent any time alone since he’s been home except for last night. But my disappointment was for nothing.

“Can I stay?” Zane asks as he parks in my driveway.

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