Page 7 of Daddy's for December

“What kid likes asparagus? My bright baby, that’s who.” He laughs as he finishes the sentence, but it makes me feel worse inside.

If he’s still reminiscing about me as a child, then he’ll never be open to us being more. The timer goes off and I grab the potatoes while Ben sets the table. A heavy silence takes over until we sit down together and dig in.

“I’m so sorry, baby. I made this awkward.”

“No, you didn’t. Not at all. I asked you to help, and you did. I just don’t understand…”

Chewing his bite of steak, he trains his gaze on my eyes. “Understand what?”

“You’re attracted to me,too. You want me, too.”

The clang of his fork dropping on his plate makes me flinch, especially with how fast his hand moves to grab mine. “Baby. This is why I’m saying things are confusing. I’msoattracted to you. Whowouldn’tbe? You’re breathtaking. Gorgeous. But you’re also eighteen, and I’m…not. Over twenty years older than you. Not to mention, Sherry trusted in me enough to make me your godfather. Do-do you understand? I want you, but we can’t do this. I don’t want to mess up your life.”

A protest rises through me with a dramatic shake of my head. “You wouldn’t?—”

“I would. Why do you think I never married? I loved your mom. But I was always away with my work. I couldn’t devote the time I needed to nurture a proper relationship with anyone, even my best friend. And you’re so brilliant, have such a big future ahead of you, no matter what you choose to do. I would only stand in the way of that. I want…” He stops and drops my hand, then resumes eating as if he didn’t just leave me hanging.

“Want what?”

Tightness settles around his neck as he swallows, then stares straight ahead, out through the window to his backyard and the frozen lake beyond. It’s too dark now to make out, but I know it’s there. So many joyous days spent playing on it years ago. Thefeelof this place gives me some comfort despite the harshness of his words. A taut smile forms on his lips. “I want you to finish your dinner so we can pick out a perfect tree and grab hot chocolate from the resort. Then we can stop by and talk to Jake about you working there.”

My mind races, trying to formulate any plan to get my daddy back. Racier outfits? Darker lipstick? Maybe walk into his shower with him? Slip into his bed? What could I do?

On our way to get a tree, I slide my hand into his, and he glances at it, but doesn’t release his grip on me. So, that’s something… He wants me. He just doesn’t know how to go about it.

His phone rings and the car’s screen lights up with the nameCindy. My stomach falls out of my body seeing it. Ben’s eyes grow wide as he clears his throat, then presses the answer button.

A woman’s saccharine voice fills the cabin of the car. “Hey, hot stuff! I’m going to be in town tomorrow. We still on for Jake’s holiday party?”

“Yeah, um. I can meet you there. Remember, I have Winter with me now.”

“Oh, right! I’ll be at the front around eight. Tell Winter that I can’t wait to meet her!”

His eyes dart to mine as he nods. “Okay, see you then.” Quickly, he ends the call, and I wonder if that was to avoid saying ‘I love you’ or if they are even on those terms. Waiting patiently, I stare at the side of his face as he pulls up to the tree lot.

“That was, uh, my friend, Cindy. We hang out when we’re both in town.” Squeezing my hand, he says, “It’s not serious.”

I place a sweet smile on my face, then lean across the seats to peck his cheek. “I can’t wait for the party.”

Because it will be goodbye to Cindy.

Four

BEN

What kind of sick, deranged animal finger bangs their goddaughter?

Me, that’s who.

At least she’s acting happy now that we’ve moved on to finding a tree. Though my eyes scan her carefully just to be sure she is. I am so messed up. How could I let my judgment lapse like that? I make my living off being practical, logical, and controlled. I’m an engineer. That’s what we do.

The absolute longing in her eyes as I spotted her in the doorway called to me. She was helpless,and she needed me. An urge to aid her in any way I could forced my feet to move. I hate seeing her want something and not being able to give it to her. And what she needed in that moment was something only I could provide.

I won’t let any other males touch her the way I just did. She’s mine.

Part of me wonders if she had ever been kissed before tonight. The way she moved against me made me think she hadn’t. She’s so innocent and inexperienced. As we walk around one of the big firs, I slyly adjust myself. I can’t stay this hard the entire month of December. It’ll be too awkward for both of us. Especially after I told her I needed to stay away.

No, she needs to focus on getting a life for herself.

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