Page 49 of Loving Luna

Her eyes narrowed, and she leveled me with a stern look. “That’s not what I meant, and you very well know it. Don’t be a smartass.”

“Sorry,” I squeaked, instantly remorseful. I knew I was just taking my frustration out on her. “I don’t know what to say to him,” I admitted.

“Well, what did he say to you?”

“He’s just asking where I am.”

“Tell him the truth,” she prompted.

I slid my phone back in my purse. “I can’t. Not yet. I need… I need to figure out what to do first.”

Maureen’s dubious expression told me she didn’t quite agree, but she humored me. “What are the options? Isn’t the choice justwhether to go back and be with him, and know that the risk is worth it? I thought you’d already decided.”

Maybe it really was that simple.

Before I could answer her, my phone chirped again. Maureen slid it out of my purse and handed it to me without looking.

Seriously? You’re not going to answer? You know I’m kind of dealing with a lot right now. I don’t need this worry, too.

My stomach knotted. Drake never spoke to me like that. I wanted to throw the phone away, to tell him he was being too unreasonable, but I knew he wasn’t. He had every right to be frustrated. I was the one who had been being unreasonable.

“Just answer him,” Maureen encouraged.

My phone beeped again.

Never mind. Forget it. I should have known you wouldn’t be able to handle real life.

“I can’t,” I whispered, in response to Maureen. “It’s too late. He’s really mad.”

She frowned. “Okay well, maybe he needs space.”

I shook my head. “I needed space. Space is the last thing Drake needs—the last thing he ever needs really.”

Maureen nodded sagely, understanding the difference in our personalities. “Well, Luna, your needs matter too.”

“Yeah, they do,” I agreed. “But I should have at least told him how I was feeling, where I was going, that I needed a break, that I needed to think.”

“Maybe,” she conceded, “but the fault is not just on you here.”

I nodded, but glanced at my phone where I knew Drake’s hurt was evidenced in the strong words he’d sent. “I have to fix it… somehow.”

“Okay. How? And what are you fixing, exactly? Because there are a lot of shitty things about this situation that you can’t fix. That you’ll never be able to fix.”

“I know.” I sighed. “But I can fix the fact that he doesn’t trust me. That I run as my first instinct. And no, I can’t fix that he’s hurting, but maybe…” I trailed off. “Maybe there’s something I can do to let him know I’m here. That I’m in it with him, and that I’m going to try my very hardest to not let my fears get the best of me.”

“Okay, good idea.” Maureen nodded. “Like what?”

I deflated instantly. “Like… I have no idea.”

“Maybe you put that thought on the back burner and wait for something to present itself. I’m sure the opportunity will come to you.” She frowned. “In the meantime, I wouldn’t let feeling like you need to make some grand gesture to prove your feelings keep you from just going and being there. That seems a bit counter-productive.”

My gut clenched at the thought of facing Drake right now, but I knew she was right. “Okay.” I nodded. “I’ll go home… er… back to Drake’s.”

I made no move to do so, until Maureen pinned me with a hard look.

“So go then. Talk it out. Tell him how you feel and listen to how he feels.”

I still didn’t move. In my mind I was rehearsing what the hell to even say and calculating all the ways it could possibly go wrong.

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