Drake looked back and forth between us but thankfully didn’t pry. “Okay then. Please make sure you eat. I’ve got to get back to the Dungeon so Jaben can get his lunch. He gets hangry if he has to wait too long to eat. Enjoy the rest of your day, I’ll see you later.” He leaned over the counter and pulled me in for a kiss before he was off again.
Maureen looked at me from the corner of her eye and raised a brow.
“Put your Domme glare away.” I rolled my eyes.
“Seems like we need to plan some actual girl time so you can tell me what’s going on. Unless you want to plan a scene and let me beat it out of you.”
I laughed. “You don’t need to beat it out of me. We can plan something, just not tonight. I’ll text you.”
Thankfully a guest approached the desk before Maureen could protest.
“I’ll be waiting.” She warned with a wave of her fingers before she made her own exit opposite of the way Drake had gone.
I took a deep breath and turned my attention to the guest.
What is my life right now?
My afternoon was significantly busier than my morning but I forced myself to take bites of the sandwich Drake had gotten for me so as to not disappoint him. I really needed to prove to him and myself that I could be an obedient submissive like some of the others. Like Erika. She was like the poster child for obedient subbies. Although I couldn’t blame her. Master Jared was pretty intense and he scared me a little. And I did not scare easily.
However, submission came so naturally to her and she looked so at peace whenever Master Jared was around. Like deferring to him was the easiest thing in the world. I didn’t think it would ever come that easily for me, but maybe I could pick her brain about it. Maybe there was some kind of exercise or meditation I could do or a book I could read that would teach me how to be a real submissive.
It took me all damn day to get half that sandwich down between running errands and helping guests. But I did it and pride filled my chest when Drake saw it and praised me. At that moment it started to make sense. I wanted to make him happy. Iwanted to earn that praise. And all I had to do to get those things was submit. Easy-peasy, right?
Wrong.
I was so wrong it wasn’t even funny. We’d been together officially now for just over a week, and while Drake was not a demanding Dominant by any stretch of the imagination, having to work so hard to swallow my bratty responses and not poke at him like I normally did for stress relief was fucking exhausting and boring all at the same time. Worse than that, I could tell something about it was making Drake act weird. The vibe was totally off, but I had no idea what to do, so I just kept trying harder to be perfect. I did everything he asked, even if it felt difficult or I didn’t want to do it, and I did it all to the best of my ability. I was consistent with Yes, Sir and No, Sir even though he had never even asked me to call him that outside of an intense scene to get my head in the right place. At first he seemed to love it, but then it was almost like it agitated him and I was more confused and frustrated than ever.
Blowing out an exasperated breath, I drummed my fingers on the top of the reception desk and glanced at the door. Was I creating problems where none existed? I didn’t think so, but it seemed like something I would do. Projecting was my superpower, as I’d been told a few times before.
It was a quiet, cold day, and the Ranch wasn’t very busy which left me way too much time to be alone with my thoughts, which was never a good thing.
My phone chirped on the desk beside me and I picked it up, hoping for a nice distraction. Instead I found a text message from Drake.
We’ve been so busy I almost forgot my parents are coming over for dinner tomorrow night at seven. I’ll pick you up at six. They’re going to be so happy when they find out we’re together. See you soon. Have a good day at work.
Blinking furiously at the bomb he’d just dropped like it was nothing, I fought the urge to panic or run or make up some reason I wouldn’t be able to make it. Drake had dinner with his parents, who lived in Porter’s Corner, twice a month like clockwork, and more often in the winter because of holidays. It wasn’t a big deal. Or at least, it shouldn’t be. It felt like one, though. It felt like a very big deal, and maybe even one I wasn’t ready for. But that was silly. I knew Drake’s parents, well, in fact. I’d had dinner with them at Drake’s plenty of times before and had even been to their home once or twice. That’s why Drake was acting like it wasn’t a big deal—because it shouldn’t be.
Forcing a smile I didn’t feel, I picked up my phone and typed out a reply.
Sounds great. Can’t wait. See you then.
And then I hit send and tried to stave off the spiraling my brain wanted to do by reminding myself of the truths, the way therapy and my psych class had taught me to do.
The truth was, everything was great, and Drake still seemed happy, and I was happy, but there were these little moments of unease, and a growing panic in my brain, telling me that I’d been right all along. I was not cut out for a real relationship, and Drake was starting to realize that.
A ball of nausea seemed to have settled permanently in my belly, and to make matters worse, tomorrow night, I was supposed to be having dinner with his parents for the first time since we decided to become a couple. Was I ready for that? Were any of us?
CHAPTER EIGHT
December
DRAKE
“Why are you so nervous?” I frowned as Luna skittered around my apartment with a dustrag, cleaning things that were already clean. “You’ve met my parents a bunch of times. You’ve even had dinner with them before.”
Luna paused and looked at me like she was about to roll her eyes and say something sassy. After a beat, she just nodded. “I know, but this feels different. It is different. We’re together now and I want them to be happy about it.”
“They will be.” Crossing the kitchen to the small dining room, I sidled up to her, wrapped an arm around her waist, and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “They love you already. And they’re going to be happy to see us together because I’m happy. And because you’re happy.”