Page 56 of Fake Out Hearts

Milo rolls over onto his side, showing his stomach, so I give him a few tummy rubs. He’s so cute it’s almost unbearable, and it’s impossible to leave him alone. But thankfully, neither of us have anything else going on, so we spend the whole rest of the day playing with him and taking him for a walk around the block.

Between that and the long walk I had earlier back and forth to the dance studio, I’m exhausted by the time we get home. So I tell Theo I’m going to turn in early, pet Milo goodnight, and head to my room. I get into my pajamas before going to wash my face and brush my teeth, then climb into bed and plug my phone in to charge while I spend a few minutes scrolling before I call it a night.

But a red badge on my messages app grabs my attention first. Did I miss a text while I was busy with Milo? Without thinking, I tap into it and my heart crashes into my stomach when I realize it’s another message from Shawn. I try to close out of the thread quickly enough that I can’t read anything, but not quickly enough.

SHAWN: I always knew you were a gold digger.

The words loop in my head like an annoying pop song I can’t shake. I throw my phone down on the bed beside me, roll onto my back, and pull the covers over my head. I was having such a good day, and I don’t want to let my shitty ex ruin that.

He’s gone, Becca. Don’t let him keep living in your head rent free.

I take a series of deep breaths to try and calm myself down, but my heart won’t stop hammering, so I roll over to grab my phone and put on one of the sleep playlists I use sometimeswhen I’m having trouble drifting off. The soothing sound of rain falling in a forest somewhere almost immediately soothes me, so I close my eyes and let it wash over me. I lie there for what feels like hours, tossing and turning to the sound of the rain, and sleep never comes.

But then fear swells in my chest, and I’m running, as fast as my feet will carry me. I don’t know who or what I’m running from, but I know that I don’t want to be anywhere near them. Even stealing a glance over my shoulder doesn’t reveal anything about who or what’s chasing me. They’re just a terrifying black mass, gaining ground, and for every step I take, they seem to take six.

I just keep running until I’m winded and exhausted and feeling like I’m ready to throw up. And then the ground disappears from beneath me, and as my body lurches over the edge, I jolt awake, sitting bolt upright in bed on the verge of screaming.

“It was a nightmare, Becca. Breathe,” I whisper to myself through the tears that are streaming down my face. I’ve had this nightmare many times before, ever since I was a kid, but it’s been years since the last time I had it. And I can’t remember the last time it was this vivid.

I don’t want to be alone right now. Ican’tbe alone right now.

My body is drenched in cold sweat, and the blankets are all tangled up around me. I claw my way out of them because they feel suffocating and constricting, then fumble with my phone to turn off the rain sounds that are still going. It’s then that I see it’s after two in the morning, so I must have been asleep for a lot longer than I realized.

As soon as I’m free, I pad to the kitchen and onward to the staircase leading to the second floor, but as soon as my foot touches the first step, I freeze. Milo lifts his head from where he’ssleeping in the living room, huffing softly as he cocks his head at me.

I shouldn’t do this. It’s a bad idea for so many reasons, but I’m still scared, and I know I’m not going to be able to feel safe enough to go back to sleep if I can’t feel someone breathing near me.

Before I can waffle any further, I charge up the rest of the stairs and push Theo’s cracked bedroom door open. As soon as I step inside, he stirs, rolling over to face me. He reaches for a bedside lamp and flips it on, and when he sees my face, he hurries to sit up.

“Jesus, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“I had a nightmare, and I know this is crazy, but I really need to not be alone right now,” I blurt as tears bubble in the back of my throat again. Theo lifts the covers, beckoning me in, and I don’t think twice before crawling into bed and entangling myself around him like an intrusive vine. His arms wrap around me, holding me close, and he strokes my back.

“It’s okay. The nightmare’s over. You’re safe here, Becca. You’re safe here,” he whispers, over and over again. He traces soft circles on my back, and I try to focus on his relaxed, easy breathing to bring my heart rate down. The last of my tears leak out as the fear gradually begins to fade.

I’m a little embarrassed to even be in this situation in the first place, but I’m also grateful I had someone to turn to. This isn’t something Shawn ever would’ve done for me, and I’d forgotten how good it feels to just be held through something intense.

“Are you okay?” Theo whispers, and I nod against his chest, although my heart is still beating a bit faster than I’d like.

“Yeah. Thank you.”

“Of course. You’re always safe with me.”

I’m starting to believe that, so I take a series of deep breaths, and somehow my eyelids start to feel heavy again. And thesoothing feel of Theo’s fingers running across my back along with the soft pumping of his heart in my ear lulls me back to sleep.

Chapter 17

Theo

I wake up to the feeling of Becca’s curly hair tickling my face, filling my nostrils with her sweet smell. My arms are still wrapped around her, and even though my left arm has fallen asleep a little in this position, it’s a pleasant tingling. It’s not the most comfortable position, but I could stay like this forever.

Feeling her body against mine like this again is stirring other parts of me awake too. Parts of me that have no business waking up. But I don’t want to break the moment any sooner than I have to, so I squeeze my eyes shut and will away the images that flash through my mind of the first night we shared together.

But she stirs, thankfully shaking my mind back into the present. I can’t see her face, but I sense the exact moment she places where she is. Her entire body tenses, but I rub her back.

“It’s okay. Nothing happened,” I whisper.

Still, she wiggles out of my grip enough to lift her face up so she can turn toward me a little. Her eyes search mine, and then she lets out a breath, shaking her head before letting it fall against my chest.

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