Page 69 of Christmas with the Baby Daddy

I sighed. “Well, that’s a valid question. Because in a couple of weeks, who knows where he’ll be, right?”

Amanda shrugged. “I don’t know.” She didn’t make eye contact as she put her coat on. “Have you asked if he could see himself hanging around here longer?”

“I’m…” I heaved out a tired breath. “I’m not going to beg or ask. I won’t play that game. What he does and where he goes is up to him.”

“But when you tell him…”

I shook my head. “It’ll still be up to him. I can’t afford to put my heart on the line, Amanda. I can’t let myself get my hopes up high and wish for the impossible.”

“You love him?” she guessed quietly.

I pressed my lips together. I did, which made it all worse. He couldn’t love me, not if he would be leaving. Even if he was getting closer to loving me, the second I revealed that I’d kept his paternity a secret all along, he’d hate me.

Amanda took my silence as an answer, hugging me before taking my leave. After she was gone, I tried to busy myself with wrapping the last of the presents before I went to bed. I was off tomorrow, and all I would need to do was go to the school for George’s presentation about families.

No, that’s not all.As I struggled to fit the paper around the awkward presents, a dozen more chores and errands popped up in my mind. Days off were rare, and I couldn’t capitalize on so-called “free time” to just be with my son.

Knocks sounded on the door, and I paused, frowning. It couldn’t be Rory. If he was popping in, he’d bang his fist. Jenny and Amanda had a key, so they’d knock and let themselves in at the same time.Now what?

I opened the door, finding Zach there.

After not seeing him for many years, I should’ve been used to his absence. But after he’d returned and gotten so close to me, these ten days apart had been misery.

I will be a mess when you go again.I couldn’t reply to Amanda’s question, but Iknewwhat I felt for this rugged man was love. I loved my baby daddy, and I had no clue how to tell him.

“Did Amanda send you over here?” I asked as a greeting.

He furrowed his brow. “No. I haven’t seen her today. Why?”

Oh, just because she was here an hour ago making me realize I love you and want you more than I have a right to.

“Can I come in?” he asked.

I nodded, stepping back. Curious what he could want, I watched him take his coat off and hang it. “More presents to wrap?” He tipped his chin to the table.

“Yeah.” I rubbed my brow as I closed the door. “I found a little stash I’d hidden and I wanted to get them?—”

“I missed you.”

I blinked, studying him. His face was sincere, and I scolded myself for getting excited by his words. He missed me? He’d miss me more when he left Vernford.

“Zach,” I sighed. “I’m tired and busy and?—”

He took my hand, looking down at his skin next to mine. “I just wanted to see you.” He lifted those baby blues to me. “Ineededto see you. I hate how things ended the last time we spoke, and I’ve been miserable all week.”

“Ten days,” I corrected. “A week and a half.”

He almost smiled, stroking his thumb over my knuckles. “Yeah. That’s too long. Too much distance.”

“But it’s nothing compared to when you’ll leave town again. You’ll be further away and gone for longer looking for what you want in life.”

He tugged me closer, and I stepped forward, lured to seek his comfort despite the logic I should’ve followed and stayed apart.

“I don’t want to think like that. About that.” He shook his head and sighed. “I can’t stop thinking about you.” Sliding his hand along my jaw, he ended up cupping my head and tipping my face up toward his. “I don’t want to stop thinking about what we have right here, right now.”

I closed my eyes but didn’t move. Seeing the longing in his deep blue eyes was too much to resist. When I gazed at him like that, I swore I saw clear through to his soul, the other half that belonged with me.

“Zach, I don’t know what we’re even doing. What this is or what I should do…” I licked my lips and opened my eyes.

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