Page 59 of Christmas with the Baby Daddy

And I wasn’t all talk. I did, honestly, plan to tell Zach after Christmas. When we cleaned up from wrapping the gifts this morning and held a steady, laidback conversation about a variety of topics that could’ve counted as catching up, I was tempted to slip in a “by the way…”

Then Rory interrupted. And then Jenny brough George home sick. My opportunity was lost, but I disliked how much it sounded like another excuse.

Every time I was alone with Zach, things got too heated. That was an even crappier excuse, but it was the truth. After all these lonely years of struggling as a single mom, as a working mom, I wanted to be greedy and take something I wanted and needed. I wished I could be selfish to have Zach for a little loving and pleasure before potentially angering him with my lie.

Because I’m just human, right? I’m not perfect. I’m just trying the best I can with all I am.

“Blake, talk to me,” Jenny said later as she drove us to the venue for the party we’d be catering. It wasn’t the same hall that Zach had helped at, but a smaller one for more intimate gatherings.

“Huh?” I glanced at her, wishing my mood were lighter so I could smile at the lit-up ornament earrings she wore as they swayed with the motion of the van.

“You’re distracted, sweetie. Talk to me.”

I blew out a deep breath.That’s just it. I have to talk—to your grandson about something big.

“What’s bothering you? George? He’ll be fine. It sounds like that twenty-four-hour thing that’s going around. Nothing crazy.”

“I hope so.” I turned down the heater vents so the air didn’t blast at my face.

“Is it because of what Rory said and did?” She shook her head. “Those Francis idiots. I can’t stand them. The whole family.”

Me neither.“No. I’m used to his bullshit. That’s why I dumped him.”

“But you shouldn’t have to get used to any man’s bullshit,” she argued. “I was so glad when you dumped him.”

“I’m just glad I only dated him with half interest and didn’t try to be with him for long.”

“That too.”

She groaned lightly. “Come on, Blake. You’re like another granddaughter to me. I can tell something’s bugging you. If something’s bugging you, it’ll bug me too.”

I licked my lips, unable to tell her what Zach should hear first. “Well, money’s tight.”

“It’s that time of the year.”

The holidays did come with more spending. I tried to give George the best I could, but the gifts I wrapped for him with Zach’s help were all clearance and sale items I'd collected throughout the year. He would never be spoiled, but it wasn’t this time of the year. It was keeping up with the medical bills from Mom, Dad and Kevin’s funeral. Even some of the hospital bills from having George and his being in the NICU for a couple of months since he came so early. In a short timeframe, it all accumulated to so much debt.

“I mean…” I winced, hating that she’d think I was complaining. “I’m grateful.”

“Oh, sweetie,” she said, patting my thigh as she drove. “I know. I know you are. You’re not whining about it. And I know you know I’m paying you all I can.”

“Yes, and I appreciate all you’ve done for me.”

“Blake.” She gave me a chiding look. “What part ofyou’re like another granddaughterdo you not understand? I get it.”

“Yeah.” She was so understanding, more of a friend and godmother than a boss. And that made it so much worse when I worried I needed more work to keep up with life. “Sometimes, when I worry about the bills, though, I wonder how different it could’ve been if I'd moved before George was born. To go after my dream of opening a café and starting some light catering. Something different from what the folks here in town are used to.”

She huffed, smiling as she joked, “It’s a lot of work to start a business from scratch.”

And a lot of investment capital upfront.

“I’ll manage,” I told her. I had an interview for a part-time spot at a warehouse scheduled. It would be third shift, and I had yet to check that Amanda could spend the night to be with George while I did it. It’d cut into my sleep, which I needed, but I had to get out of this paycheck-to-paycheck habit.If the house could just not need something repaired once in a while, that’d help too.

After we arrived at the venue, we were too busy to think. I didn’t have a chance to think about the future or worry. Between Jenny, Leo, Tiff, and a couple of others, we were hustling without a moment to catch our breaths. The busyness helped to preoccupy me, but even when the event slowed some and things were flowing on schedule, I had something else to make sure I didn’t relax. Or rather, someone.

Reagan was at the party as a guest with a date who looked like a creep. She was, of course, the epitome of beauty with her makeup on point, her hair professionally styled, and her gown no doubt the cost of my paycheck.

As soon as she spotted me nearing her table, she laid on her personal idea of “charm”.

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