Page 27 of Christmas with the Baby Daddy

I nodded, wincing at how awkward he was too. We’d already established that, but I was just as much at a lack of knowing what to say as he was. “Yep. I like it.”

“Been working for her long?” he asked.

“Yeah. It’s all that I’ve been doing for a few years.” I licked my lips, desperate for answers and summoning the courage to follow up with a related question. “Are you moving on to something else now? For work?”

He huffed. “I was medically discharged. My shoulder was screwed up in an accident during training and now I’m supposed to be a civilian.”

“Ah.” It was a paltry reply for a loaded statement from him. Being in the service was all he’d ever wanted to do or planned to do.

“I have no clue what I’m doing now.”

“I’m sorry,” I said. Telling him that I was sorry he was hurt would sound like pity. But I hated that he could seem this down and lost. I had a bleeding heart, a real empath, but I felt like it was smarter to remain distant and not stress how much I cared about his well-being. I hated for him to suffer, but it wasn’t my place to “fix” him.

“Jenny suggested I look for a job. So I’m not idle and bored, and yeah.” He shrugged. “She seems to think that having a job would give me a purpose, but after being gone from here for so long, I can’t see how I’d have any worthwhile purpose in Vernford.”

I turned to face his profile, saddened by how lost he had to feel. I swallowed, wishing I could know what to say.

“I’ll stay for the holidays and head out to find something else to do.”

“Oh.”

He glanced at me, but I couldn’t bear to make eye contact this time. The fact that he wanted to take off again so soon only proved how little he’d ever want to stay. To be in my life, even as former acquaintances…

“But I’ll be working part-time at the school until then,” he said, seeming in a rush to break up this stilted small talk. “Cole hired me for some maintenance stuff while Mr. Benson is off.”

“Oh.”So that’s why he was there.Sara hadn’t even known why he was there to report to me.

“I met your son, actually. George.”

I went still, freezing in place and worrying that he was still as good at reading people as he always used to be. I didn’t need him to notice my utter panic at his meeting his son.

“Nice boy.”

I had never been put on the spot quite like this, wishing a hole would open and I’d be swallowed up to avoid this conversation.

“He seems like a cool kid.”

“Thanks.” I strained not to react too quickly and jerkily. “He’s a good child.”

“I was, um, kind of surprised to hear that you’d had a kid,” he admitted. He cleared his throat and glanced at me, but I couldn’t face him.

“Oh. Um.” My heart raced as I frantically searched for words. “I was under the impression that your communication with Amanda and Jenny was infrequent and… sticking with the basic info…”

God, what am I saying?I was implying he wouldn’t have needed to know that I’d had a kid. In truth, he did. He really, really did, more than anyone else.

“Yeah. I didn’t do well with contacting them often.”

I nodded. That was also true, but it wasn’t an excuse I could hide behind. After Kevin’s funeral, Zach left without a word and gave me the cue that he wasn’t planning to speak to me again.

“I’m surprised he’s, uh, that you’re not… married.”

“No.” From shivering to sweating, I was a mess. I tensed and tried to look as normal as possible. “Never married. Never came close.”

“Huh. Who’s his…” He glanced at me again, as if he couldn’t force himself to come out and ask it. “Who’s his dad?”

Fuck. Me.He had to go there. He had to ask the one thing I dreaded.

He was asking in the clearest way possible. The only answer to that specific and direct question wasyou. But I couldn’t bring myself to say it. The urge to keep the secret buried deep down was too strong.

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