Page 59 of Chasing You

“Yeah, well, he’s got a million things going on, and you wouldn’t increase the budget for some big-name photographer.”

“It’s soft-core firefighter porn,” Adele muttered. “I’m not paying big bucks for that.”

Ridge snorted. “Poor bastard’s gonna have to put up with a lot.”

“Here’s hoping he appreciates the eye candy,” Adele said, lifting his juice into the air before draining it all. “Anyway, my shift’s about to end. You out of here soon?”

“Yeah. I’m picking up Ina, and we’re heading over to the new preschool that’s got a couple of Deaf teachers. They have a parent ASL integration class thingie there, which I’m signing up for. Oh, and that reminds me, I need to swap for Wednesdays off.”

“Send me a text,” Adele said as he headed for his locker. “Otherwise, I’ll never remember.”

He saluted Adele as he followed him into the locker room and went to his own, which was on the far right where all the rookies had to keep their shit. “Oh, and about that dad club meeting…”

“Tell me you’re finally going to come by,” Adele begged. He wanted some fresh blood in the mix. Not that things were getting stale, but he really liked Ridge, and a small part of him worried that things were starting to fall apart. He wasn’t ready to lose that part of his life because he had Kash now.

Ridge sighed. “I was thinking about it. I thought it might be good for Ina to hang out with Rex, at least. I mean, I know they have years apart, but?—”

“No, that’ll be good,” Adele said quickly. “Rex is great with the little ones. And I think he’ll be excited to have another Deaf kid around.”

“Even if she’s got—” He made the sign for cochlear implants.

“I doubt he gives a shit about that,” Adele said, hopping to pull his jeans over his ass. “He goes to a school with all kinds of kids. And everyone in the group signs. Even Dallas’s baby is picking up on it. But I know he probably still feels a little isolated.”

“That’s what I’m terrified of. I don’t want Ina to feel like an outsider.” Ridge said, his face drawn.

Adele sighed. “Gage went through it too. Being adopted, being raised by a single dad, not knowing where he came from. I was worried he was going to get bullied for it, but he’s such a likable kid, and he never seemed to give a shit about his birth parents.”

“You really raised a good one,” Ridge said with a small smile. “I hope I have that kind of relationship with Ina when she’s older. I…” He hesitated, and Adele took a step closer after pulling his shirt over his head. He dropped to the bench and looked up at Ridge, hoping his face looked patient. Ridge rubbed the back of his neck. “I never wanted kids, and I’m obviously never going to tell her that, but she doesn’t get that nice, fluffy story about how me and my partner went out and chose her. She was abandoned in a little box at a random fire station in the middle of the city.”

Adele hadn’t known that. “Is that what happened?”

Ridge glanced away. “It’s a long story. It’s not a secret, but it’s complicated.”

Adele wasn’t going to push. “Look, you still chose her,” Adele said quietly. “You might not have been out looking, but the moment you set eyes on her, you loved her.”

Ridge sighed and shrugged. “Yeah. But I’m terrified she’s going to doubt me.”

“Look, man, I get it.” Adele rested hisforearms on his thighs and leaned forward, staring at the ground. He rarely ever talked about this, but it felt nice to say it to someone who understood. “I think I’ve spent most of Gage’s life waiting for the moment he told me I wasn’t his real dad. He grew up knowing he was adopted, and there was this piece of me waiting for him to get so pissed at me he used the one thing that would tear me to shreds.”

“He never did?” Ridge asked softly.

Adele shook his head. “No. I don’t know if it even occurs to him that we’re not biologically related most days. And I’ve done my best not to project that insecurity onto him because he doesn’t need it. He’s already a bi teenager of a queer dad in a small town, you know?”

Ridge snorted a laugh. “Yeah, I get that.”

“Don’t assume she’s ever going to look at you any other way except adoring. Well, until she becomes a preteen and is pissed off at everything, but that’s not something you can avoid. You’re better off learning to steel your heart against the teenager look of absolute disgust than adoption worries. I think that hurts worse than anything because it’s so honest.”

Ridge winced. “How bad is it?”

“I took Gage with me to get shoes a few weeks ago, and I picked a pair I really liked. The look on his face made me want to crawl into a hole,” Adele said with a shudder. And it had been true. Gage had been horrified at his taste, and Adele had put the damn shoes back, only to return and buy them later because he’d be damned if he let teenage fashion sense dictate his wardrobe.

The worst part was that he wore them as a sign of protest when he got home, and Gage hadn’t even noticed. And when Adele waved them in his face, he said, “Cool shoes. Can I go hang out with Lucas?”

Adele felt robbed of his vindication.

“I guess if that’s the worst thing I have to look forward to?—”

“It’s not,” Adele said honestly. “You have to look forward to the age when they get introduced to making bad decisions. Ditching, drugs, sex—all that shit. You have to look forward to the moment when you realize they don’t need you anymore. You have to look forward to sleepless nights where you’re overcome with anxiety about them making bad decisions because you trust them, but you don’t trust yourself to have taught them everything they need to know about navigating the world.”

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