Page 4 of Chasing You

“You don’t need to ask me for permission to do things in your own home,” Adele said, walking forward.

Kash rolled his eyes. “It’s not my?—”

Adele moved faster than he could keep up with, pressing two fingers to Kash’s lips. “Yes. It is. It always has been, and it always will be. I don’t care where either one of us are in life or how much we’re pissed off at each other.”

“Or who we’re married to?”

Adele met his gaze, unwavering and unrepentant. “Yes. If you ever feel like you aren’t welcome here, I will remedy that quickly. And you know damn well I won’t be making that mistake again.”

At that, Kash managed a small but very genuine smile. God, he’d missed his best friend. Pain and pining aside, he’d never been so happy to be somewhere that wasn’t his own personal space. “So. I believe I was promised a massage and a Studio Ghibli marathon.”

Adele clapped his hands together as he stood. “I’ve got oils.” He paused and turned back to Kash slowly. “Can I use oils on you?”

“Yes. But don’t be offended if my legs don’t respond right away. It’s…a thing.”

“A thing we’re going to talk about tomorrow,” Adele pressed.

Kash rolled his eyes. “I won’t have a lot to say, but yes.”

Adele looked like he wanted to argue or maybe push the issue further. But after a beat, his shoulders sagged, and he reached down, grabbing the remote off the coffee table and tossing it onto Kash’s stomach. “Streaming stuff is in the main menu. You pick the movie. I’ll handle the oils and the snacks.”

That was something he could do. Very easily, in fact. And while that was exactly what Kash had expected when he decided to come home to Adele, it still got to him. He felt a lump rising in the base of his throat, and he tried to swallow past it.

He didn’t want to break down. Not yet. Not before he even realized what was happening to him. He wanted to be present in the moment and savor this time with Adele because he knew it wasn’t meant to last. At some point, Adele would find the person who made his heart skip a beat. The person who made him feel like he was home.

Someone who loved Gage as his own, who fit seamlessly in with his friends and allowed Adele to feel like he was finally where he was meant to be. And then he’d lose him all over again, like when he’d gotten married the first time. Only this time would be forever. This time would be the right person, and while he would always love Kash, he would find his happily ever after without him.

“Movie?”

Kash realized he hadn’t moved. He still had the remote in his hand, pointed at the TV. “Sorry.”

Adele walked in with a small tea tray full of snacks and two bottles of bright yellow oil and set it down on the coffee table. His brow was creased with worry, which madehim look his age. Kash’s stomach twisted as he realized moments like this were finite. Would he be around to see Adele get greyer? Would he be there to poke fun at his deepening wrinkles, or knobby knuckles, or when his laugh turned into a wheeze?

He didn’t want this. God, he didn’t want this.

His eyes were getting hot, and he blinked quickly, trying to hold off his tears. He felt weak—both physically and emotionally. He felt like one stiff breeze blowing the wrong way and he’d shatter.

Adele obviously noticed because he quickly knelt beside him and took the remote away before grabbing his hands. “I love you. You’re my best friend in the whole world, and whatever’s wrong, I know you know I’m here for you.”

Kash tried not to wince because he wanted to hear those three words, but not in that context. “I know.”

Adele sighed. “I don’t like seeing you in pain.”

“There’s nothing you can do about it,” Kash told him, “except be here with me. Okay?”

“Are you dying?”

Kash’s whole body went numb for a brief second. No. But also, maybe. He didn’t know, but signs weren’t pointing in the best direction right now, and that was the terrifying part he hadn’t admitted aloud.

He groaned and rolled his eyes. “Adele.”

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry.” Adele tried for a smile and succeeded, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Start the movie.” He pulled the coffee table closer to the couch, then lifted Kash’s legs and set them on his lap. “We’re not talking about any more heavy stuff, and I promise, no more ridiculous questions.”

The question wasn’t ridiculous, but Kash wasn’t about to tell him that. He didn’t want to encourage Adele to tryand break the promise that all the intense stuff could wait until tomorrow. Because he knew, in reality, he would crack. He always gave in to anything Adele wanted. It was too easy to make him happy, and too often, Kash lived for his smile. Things were too much, and he was determined to make the most of these few hours he had before he had to confess that his life had changed. That so far, there was no treatment and no cure because they didn’t know what it was, and he was done holding his breath waiting on someone to figure it out.

This was probably his new normal, for however long it lasted. So he wanted to bask, and feel, and rest.

Adele’s hands were warming oil, and soon, they’d be all over him. They’d be watching their comfort movies and eating snacks, and eventually, they’d start laughing again.

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