Page 43 of Chasing You

Kash’s cheeks heated. Did he mean—but no. No, that wasn’t possible. Except…maybe it was? He studied Adele’s face. He looked exactly the same. He was wearing the same soft, happy expression he always wore every time he looked at Kash. The one he’d had when they were kids. And when they crept into their teens. It was the same one he’d worn at his own wedding when he looked back to see Kash crying of a broken heart. He’d used it for Kash that day, not for his ex.

And while he’d spent his life trying not to read into that, it was getting harder and harder to ignore the signs.

“I’m happy here,” Adele said softly, shattering his inner monologue.

“Me too.” Kash meant more than just at the beach with the ocean a few feet from their toes. But he wasn’t brave enough to say that aloud. Not yet. He shielded his eyes from the sun with the side of his hand as he turned his gaze up to the sky.

It was mostly sunny, a few wispy clouds off in the distance. It was the perfect day. The humidity was like a soft blanket on the spring breeze, and the air was just warm enough to be comfortable. He never wanted to leave. Especially when he knew he could roll over and press his lips to Adele’s skin. Even if he didn’t have the courage to do that.

“What are you thinking about?”

Kash swallowed heavily, holding back the words hewanted to say. “I think I can do this. Live like this, I mean. Whatever this new life is.”

“I know you can.” Adele settled on his back, then shifted closer and groped until he found Kash’s hand. His palm was warm and sweaty and perfect. He lifted Kash’s arm and stared at where they were joined together, brows furrowed like he was studying the way it looked. Then he ran his thumb over Kash’s knuckles. “You’re not going to leave me again, are you?”

“No.”

“And you’re not staying because you have to,” Adele said.

Kash squeezed his hand. “The only place I have ever wanted to be is here with you. It was ridiculous that I thought I had to let you go when you got married.”

Adele closed his eyes, his face full of old, atrophied pain. “It feels like a different lifetime. Like I was a different person back then.”

Kash thought the same thing, but in reality, Adele damn near was. He was quieter, angrier, more lost. He wasn’t the person Kash had grown up with. It was like the real him had gotten lost at sea.

It hadn’t lasted.

But Kash hadn’t known how to come back again when the man he loved had finally resurfaced. He didn’t know where he fit in with Adele’s new life, so he’d stayed away. He knew now that was the wrong choice, but he couldn’t turn back time. There was only going forward.

“You forgive me, right? For the way I left?”

Adele blinked at him, then rolled over and took Kash by the chin, holding his gaze. “There’s nothing to forgive. Nothing changed, Kash. I love you now like I loved you then.”

Kash wasn’t sure if he should be elated or crushed by those words. But there was only one answer he could give back, and there was no hesitation as those words left his lips. “I love you too.”

Adele knocked their foreheads together. “Come on. Let’s go get some shells and get our feet wet. We have all day, but I don’t want to squander it by being morose and thinking about all the mistakes we made.”

“Yeah,” Kash said softly. His head felt like it was spinning. Adele loved him now like he loved him then. Which meant what? Had he been blind this whole time? Or was he looking for signs that weren’t really there?

God help him, he was a mess, and he had no idea if the mental knots he’d tied could ever be undone.

eleven

ADELE

Phase one—complete.

Well, mostly.

He’d slipped a little and told Kash how he really felt, but it was obvious that the guys were right: Kash had his head buried deep down in the sand. Adele had been there not that long ago, and he could only hope Kash could find his way to the surface before Adele lost his mind from pining.

Still, things could have been a lot worse. Whether or not Kash realized it, theywereon a date. It was romantic as fuck, and Adele was feeling like everything was right in the world. They waded in the water and found a bunch of empty knobbed whelk shells that Kash collected in the small mesh bag Adele had brought along with them, and eventually, they both got hungry enough to venture up toward the snack bar.

Adele had to carry him again, but this time, Kash was far less self-conscious about it and rested against his back until they were on solid ground.

“I’ll totally eat a stale pretzel at this point,” Adele groaned as he eyed the small line at the order window. Hisstomach had fully settled from the boat, and now that he knew he and Kash were really and truly okay, everything felt better.

“Same. Except their burgers look okay. Will you order for me? I need to take a piss.” Kash was leaning on his cane, glancing around for the bathrooms.

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