Page 30 of Chasing You

They stopped at most benches, and Adele pretended not to see the anger in Kash’s eyes every time his feet failed to carry him forward. He stood by patiently, letting him set the pace, and within an hour, they were back in the hotel room.

Kash was on the bed with his orthotics off, legs starfished, and Adele knelt on the edge of the mattress.

“Let me?—”

“Don’t.”

Adele closed his eyes, took a breath, then repeated himself. “Let me help.”

“There’s nothing you can do,” Kash said. His tone was angry, but more than that, it was full of hurt. “You can’t fix this.”

“No. But I can give you a little relief.Please.”

“Why? To make yourself feel better about seeing me this way?” Kash asked. Adele winced at the dig because that had never and would never be true. Kash seemed to realize his mistake because he deflated almost instantly. He pressed his fists to his eyes and growled. “Fuck. This is so hard.”

“I know.” Adele kept his tone even, soft, and careful. Shifting over, Adele gently touched Kash’s knee. “I know.”

“I don’t mean to be this way.”

With a soft laugh, Adele shook his head and leaned over to pull Kash’s hands from his face. “Sure you do. This is fucked-up. It’s all fucked-up. You’re in pain, and you can’t move the way you used to. You still don’t have answers except that you’re probably not dying, and all of it is outside of your control. You can be angry.”

“And mean?”

“If you want. I can take it.”

Kash swallowed thickly. “You’re the last person in the world I want to hurt. You know that, right?”

Adele’s smile widened. “Yeah. I know. But I’m also probably one of the few people who can shoulder that burden. If you need a punching bag?—”

“Then I’m sure you know where I can buy one,” Kash said stiffly. “Please don’t let me get away with this.”

Adele didn’t know what to say. On one hand, he understood that Kash was right. On the other, he knew he’d tear himself into tiny, flayed pieces if it meant giving Kash a moment of relief from everything he was feeling.

“Let me rub your calves. I’ll use the tea tree oil.”

Kash bit his lip, then let out a heavy sigh and nodded. “Yeah. Okay.”

Adele felt a surge of triumph. This wasn’t officially part of his plan to woo Kash beyond all sense ofreason, but he was taking it as an unexpected opportunity to plant seeds. That this life—all of this—could be theirs if Kash would let him in.

Digging the oil out of his bag, Adele helped Kash move to the head of the bed, then peeled away his socks and set his feet in his lap. Kash shifted uncomfortably, and Adele understood it must be hell on earth to feel so vulnerable.

But Kash was strong, and Adele would be there to remind him of that and to hold him up on days he couldn’t be.

“Tell me if it hurts,” Adele said, starting with his right leg.

Kash scoffed. “It always hurts.”

“Then tell me when it’s unbearable, you contrary little fuck.”

Kash was silent, then burst into laughter. “Wow.”

“Am I lying?”

“No, but…” Kash pushed up on his elbows, his eyes shining. “Somehow, you find ways to make all this crap feel…normal. I don’t know how.”

“Because nothing’s really changed. Nothing we can’t get back. Right?”

Kash said nothing as he lay back down, but there was a softness in his body—an openness that hadn’t been there before. Adele wanted to press his body over his and kiss him, but that would come later.

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