Page 29 of Chasing You

That was also true, but he felt like he was in too deep to do this alone. “Do you think I have a shot? Like, really, really have a shot?”

Bowen was quiet for a beat, then said, “I think if you have a shot at a happily ever after, it’s going to be with him.” Adele breathed a little easier until Bowen added, “Don’t worry. We’ll get you your man.”

“Never say that again,” Adele said.

“Love you!”

The line went dead, and Adele allowed himself exactly two minutes and thirty seconds of wallowing before he was up on his feet and starting operation make Kash love him forever.

Kash seemed on edge until he realized that Adele wasn’t going to make it weird between them or try to make the whole thing last night something they promised each other it wouldn’t be. Adele wasn’t going to give up on his plans, but he would give Kash the emotional reprieve he was clearly craving. It was the least he could do, considering what they were in the city for.

Kash appreciated the breakfast, and the two of them settled in bed together to watch crappy TV until it was timeto get ready for the next specialist, which was about a forty-five-minute metro ride from the hotel.

It also didn’t help that it was a busy weekday, and Adele only managed to find a single seat on the first leg of the trip so Kash didn’t collapse. But they got to the office in one piece, and Adele was back in the waiting room once more as he waited for his friend to get tested and to gather as much information as he could about how to live his life with this new disorder.

The appointment went much like the first. Kash was seen, tested, told he wasn’t dying, encouraged to look into mobility devices to help him with his struggling, and then he was sent on his way. Adele suggested lunch in Chinatown since it was close and found a little nondescript dim sum restaurant next to a hotel with a big neon sign.

They stayed hunkered down at one of the back tables, talking quietly and basking in each other’s company.

“I don’t remember the last time we did this,” Kash said. His hands were still too stiff to work chopsticks, so he was holding a fork in his fist and pushing a piece of har gow around his plate. “Seriously, when was the last time we had time to ourselves like this without responsibilities looming over us?”

Adele couldn’t remember. “Ten years ago? Gage was really little then. Bowen was out here visiting, so he babysat. It was…”

“Your birthday,” Kash said softly, smiling.

Kash was right. It had been his birthday. They went to the beach and got drunk on pineapple-and-coconut-flavored rum, then rented a hotel room that overlooked the water. There had been a moment back then too…an almost. They stood on the terrace, the backs of their hands pressed together.

The veil between right and wrong was so thin then. Adele had thought,I could lean over and kiss him right now. Because that was the one thing they’d never done. They’d touched. They’d come together. They’d wrapped around each other and slept the night away in each other’s arms.

But they’d never kissed.

That would change everything.

He didn’t do it. He’d found the courage in one breath and lost it in the next. And then the moment was gone.

He was pretty sure Kash had felt it then too. There was something in his eyes that he hadn’t been able to read, but he’d never seen that look before. It was gone before he had the chance to study it—to know it. Kash had turned away with a smile and walked back into the room, and Adele followed.

They watched cooking shows until they passed out, and Adele woke up the next morning with his ear pressed to Kash’s heart. Thethud thud thudcomforted him. Just like always.

He felt at home then.

And it had all shattered two days later when Kash boarded a plane, and Adele didn’t see him again for five years. The next visit had been different. Adele was still single, but he had a strange feeling Kash was seeing someone.

They hadn’t touched as much. No moments on balconies, no drinks, no soft smiles, no whispered secrets. It was different, and Adele swore he was losing him.

But maybe he was wrong because here he was now, and the years of separation between them were slowly melting into the past.

“I hated being gone for so long,” Kash murmured. “But I don’t think it would have changed anything.”

“Not even the accident?”

Kash shrugged, glancing away. He dropped his fork, and Adele couldn’t tell if it was on accident or if his hands were giving up on him. “I feel like whatever this is was waiting for a trigger. Maybe it was that incident, but it could have been anything. Knocking my head on a cupboard, catching a nasty virus, a car accident. I think I’m on my path. My path just sucks.”

Adele’s heart ached, but he knew saying that aloud wouldn’t help anything. “Well…you’re here now. That part’s not so bad, is it?”

Kash looked up at him and smiled. “No. That part is pretty great.”

Adele paid the bill, then offered Kash an arm up. They weren’t too far from the hotel, but the trek was long. Kash’s legs were already protesting every step, and it took everything in Adele not to offer to carry him the rest of the way back.

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