Page 47 of Honoring Lena

“Yes, sir.” Zeke ended the call.

Lena used the chaos of movement as everyone got busy getting ready to land to slip into the galley at the back of the jet. She needed a space to collect her thoughts. Since the chopper pilots had taken Carter, she hadn’t had a second to calm her stormy mind. Questions and doubts built and tumbled like a building winter blizzard over the Alaskan range. She shouldn’t drag her siblings into this. Would they get to Carter in time? Could her heart take it if they didn’t? She feared the answers and worried if she couldn’t get her emotions under control, she’d be a liability.

As she reached the galley, a firm hand snagged her elbow and dragged her the rest of the way in to the area. Bjørn snapped the curtain closed that separated the small kitchen from the rest of the cabin and turned his eyes, full of challenge, to her. Brothers. They never knew when to leave her be.

“What do you mean, you’re thinking about it?” Bjørn crossed his arms, and she backed into the counter.

“Exactly what I said.” Lena balled her hands at her sides, not sure if she wanted to punch him in the face or collapse into a lump and cry over her inability to protect Carter. Since crying never helped anything, she kept her arms rigid at her sides so she wouldn’t give in to her first inclination.

He swung his arms wide, motioning toward the cabin. “What about what you have with Marshall? The family you could have with him and Carter? I saw the way you looked at Marshall when we found you. For the first time since Ethan died, a spark of life—of hope— radiated from you. You’re thinking about throwing that away to join Paxton’s team? You know how deep undercover that team is operating. You do that, you lose any chance of a life beyond revenge and hate.”

“What about justice?” Lena poked Bjørn in the chest, her whisper harsh though she wanted to shout. “What about making the people behind Ethan’s death and Carter being kidnapped pay for the pain and slaughter they’ve caused?”

He whacked her hand aside and stepped closer. Her eyes filled with tears that no amount of blinking could dry up. His face softened, and she clenched her teeth.

“What if the justice you’re supposed to give is in supporting a man fighting to do everything in his power to counter this organization’s attempts at weakening the nation’s defenses?” He grabbed her hand and squeezed. “What if you’re meant to help Marshall make his business even better so that more soldiers will have the protection June’s inventions give them? You’ve always had laser focus, but I think you’re zeroing in on the wrong thing.”

“I can’t … I can’t think about that right now.” She trembled and desperately wanted to flee.

“But you can think about Paxton and his secret commandos?” He lifted an eyebrow in challenge. He, out of all the other siblings, had always been able to read her.

Her breath hitched in her lungs as she gazed at him. She turned her head and stared at the wall. Didn’t he realize that dredging this up now would only make it harder to focus? He pulled her into a hug, and she leaned her head on his chest.

“You love Marshall and Carter.” He whispered the statement she couldn’t refute. “You’re willing to walk away from that?”

No.

She closed her eyes and swallowed hard.

“Maybe.” Tears burned hot behind her lids. “Yes. I can’t risk my world shattering again.”

She wanted to snatch the barely audible words back and stuff them where they should’ve stayed. She didn’t though. Not now. Maybe never.

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