Page 4 of Honoring Lena

Three

Carter’shigh-pitched singing accompanied by a lower, more beautiful voice greeted Marshall in the hallway to the living room. Even though he had a plan and had put it in motion, his heart still beat in his throat and his head buzzed with panic, so he leaned against the wall to calm himself. He didn’t want to scare Carter. He also didn’t want Lena Rebel to think he’d lost his cool. If her judgmental glances and low huffing were any indication, she already found him lacking. Flipping out like a crazed man would push any chance of gaining her respect right over the cliff.

Not that her thoughts toward him mattered. She might give everyone that look of deficiency for all he knew. It didn’t change the fact that he came away from her presence feeling as if he’d failed… again. He battled with that demon enough without her encouragement.

He took a deep breath, letting their song wash over him, and peeked into the room. Carter sat on Lena’s lap at the small table against the window. She combed her fingers absentmindedly through his blond hair as she took in the surroundings. Carter’s head bent over the table, his body wiggling side to side in a dance to the music. Man, how had Marshall’s entire world gotten compressed into that one little body? There wouldn’t be anything left of him if he lost Carter.

Lena shifted, her back straightening from its relaxed position. Even from the hallway, Marshall could see her jaw flex as she rapidly blinked her eyes. Was she trying not to cry? Marshall found it hard to believe she even had tender emotions.

“Eena, look.” Carter turned on Lena’s lap, his face bright with excitement as he explained the happy picture of the three of them together.

Like a family.

Jealousy scorched hot through his gut and raced heat to his face. Lena didn’t deserve his son’s love. She was nothing but a glorified babysitter. Carter should draw pictures of Amara, his mother, not some woman hired to watch him. And whose fault is that?

Marshall slumped against the wall, dragging his hand down his face. My fault … all mine. Lena wasn’t guilty of anything but doing her job. Carter was such a tenderhearted person, always loving, even to strangers. It made sense he’d include Lena in his affection. She’d been with him all hours of the day for the last two months.

“That’s a beautiful picture.” Lena’s voice was tight, not her normal, efficient tone.

“Me made it for you.” Carter pushed it into her hands.

The paper shook slightly as she took it. Why was a simple scribbling affecting her so much? Marshall never would’ve believed the tough-as-nails woman would get all mushy over such a thing. He’d known some resilient women from his time in the Air Force. Even his Amara had had an unbreakable attitude toward life, but he’d never met someone as focused and closed off as Lena Rebel.

“Thanks, buddy.” She cleared her throat, her smile forced as she looked at Carter. “I’ll keep it, even after I leave.”

What did she mean by that?

Carter threw his little arms around her and kissed her soundly on the cheek. “Me love you, Eena.”

Marshall couldn’t take it anymore. Besides, they didn’t have time to waste. He cleared his throat and stepped into the living room.

“Daddy!” Carter scrambled off of Lena’s lap and rushed into Marshall’s outstretched arms.

“Hey, squirt.” Marshall tucked his head against Carter’s, pulling his small body as close as he could.

Lena stood, her gaze bouncing down the hall before focusing like a laser to his face. Her expression had lost any softness it may have had while talking with Carter. Good. He needed her focused.

“What’s wrong?” Her words clipped out like rapid-fire artillery, and her hand went to her concealed holster he knew she had tucked in the front of her jeans.

Good. Maybe her being all business all the time would come in handy finally.

“We need to leave now.” Marshall stomped to the dinosaur backpack in the corner, carrying Carter with him.

“All right.” Lena rushed to her pack he’d never seen her without and shoved her things in it. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t have time to explain right now.” Marshall bent to pick up Carter’s toys. “We leave in five. Can you be packed?”

Lena’s eyes darted to the ceiling and back to Carter, still in Marshall’s arms. It was irrational to still be holding him, but Marshall couldn’t seem to force himself to put his son down. When she turned her gaze on Marshall, he lifted one brow in challenge.

“I’ve got him.” Marshall put a hand on Carter’s back in a move that bordered on possessive.

Lena must’ve picked up the sentiment because her forehead furrowed. She gave one quick nod, then hurried out of the room, taking the tension that had built out with her. Marshall let out a deep sigh, then focused on cramming as many toys as he could into the backpack.

“Where we going, Daddy?” Carter reached for his teddy bear and clutched it close. “Are we going home?”

Why had Marshall insisted Carter and Lena come with him? Had his meetings with legislators put his family back on the radar of whoever seemed to have such control? Maybe if he’d left Carter at home in Kentucky, whoever he’d upset would have just focused their pressure on Marshall. Then again, they might have gotten to Carter easier back home.

Marshall shook his head. At least with him here, Marshall wouldn’t have the plane ride home to spend filled with worry over what he’d find when he got home.

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