Page 22 of Honoring Lena

“We all make mistakes, and there were two hundred and seventeen other members of Congress who share in that blame with you.” Arne shifted to the edge of his seat and leaned his forearms on his knees. “Yet you’re the only one I’ve seen making amends. What have you done to correct that mistake since you voted?”

“It doesn’t matter.” Marshall hung his head. “It can never make up for all those I hurt. Never make up for Lena losing Ethan. For Amara being murdered.”

“That’s where you’re wrong.” Arne’s sharp jab to Marshall’s bicep hurt. “If I remember right, for the rest of your term in Congress, you did everything you could to shift the current political landscape while transforming your entire billion-dollar company back in Kentucky to assist in the production of tools for the military.”

“How do you know all that?”

“When Lena became obsessed with it, I started researching.” Arne’s lips twisted up in a slight grin beneath his dark blond beard. “When she called to tell us she would be working for you, I wondered how she’d handle it.”

“She hates me. After what I did, I don’t blame her.” He stared at Lena, who had stopped playing football to sit with Carter.

He swallowed the longing that had grown toward her, stuffing it deep down in the never-gonna-happen part of his brain, and slammed the door closed. If he couldn’t see past his own disgust and regrets, what made him think she ever would? Being up here was a mistake. He would never find answers and couldn’t continue his fight against this evil if he stayed hidden. He’d get them settled wherever it was Lena wanted them to hide out, then talk Bjørn into getting him to an airport. Knowing Carter was safe and putting some distance between his growing desire for Lena would let him focus on his goal. He couldn’t support the military and reduce corruption in the legislature if he was hiding in the Alaskan wilderness.

“Lena doesn’t hate you, not really,” Arne said.

Marshall snorted and shook his head, though Arne’s words raised a pathetic sense of hope within him.

“She may have at first, but Lena isn’t dumb. If I found out all that about you, she would have too.” Arne clapped Marshall’s shoulder. “I’m praying hard for her. She needs to forgive, to let God heal her, but the longer and tighter she holds on to that anger, she’ll never find peace.”

Peace. Marshall’s nose stung as he fought to control his emotions. What would it feel like to have a peaceful heart again, to have joy overpower the regret and pain? Was there any possibility he and Lena could find it together?

“Maybe … maybe you could pray for me too?” He breathed past the tightness in his chest and looked at Arne.

Arne squeezed his shoulder. “I already am, son. I already am.”

Marshall bit the inside of his cheek and turned back to the yard. Carter threw himself at Lena. The smiles stretched across both their faces had salmons flipping in Marshall’s stomach. He was ready to put his grief behind him and find a happy life with Carter. Maybe, just maybe, he could convince Lena to want the same.

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