Page 119 of Pride, Prejudice, & Pretense

"My final answer. I'm saving myyes—for later, for someone else and a different question, for a different life." She was sure he comprehended her meaning but could not meet his eyes. He had written similarly to her.

Fitzwilliam waited until she finally lifted her gaze to his. He held her eyes for a moment: "I have asked the right question, but notasthe right person ortothe right person. Please hold onto thatyesuntil the question can be asked inpropria persona, answered inpropria persona."

He smiled weakly. "I've decided that the key to being a spy is this:I am not who I am, and I am who I am not.It's time to be who I am."

"So, you're done? MI-6?"

"I will officially resign as soon as I am up to talking to my boss. He may retire me peremptorily. The last few weeks I've been off-book, unsanctioned, flirting withrogue."

"What will you do?"

He seemed unworried about the question. "All that I'm sure of is—you."

"Oh, so your plan is todome?" It was silly, perhaps, but it felt so good to be able to banter with him. Lizzy and Fitzwilliam. Not Fanny and Ned. Not Agent Bennet and Agent Darcy. A woman and a man, each acutely aware of the other as woman and man.

"As soon as my strength returns," Fitzwilliam said, underscoring the word “strength” and deepening her blush.

The door opened and a nurse entered carrying a plain white tote bag. "A man came in with this and asked that it be given to Agent Darcy." Thanking her, Lizzy took the bag, and the nurse left.

"What is it?" Fitzwilliam asked, puzzled.

She opened it. Inside, she found a phone on top of a folded jacket. She recognized the jacket from Chicago?Ned’s. "Your phone and jacket. They must have found them in the building where you were held."

He nodded. "Rook took them from me in the parking lot." He shook his head. "When I saw him behind you in the Smiley office—"

"Wherewashe?" Lizzy asked. She had wondered about that a time or two since arriving at the hospital.

"He came in from a connecting room next to the one where I was being held. He’d been guarding me, but he must have left the room after I passed out. Considering how I was tied, he knew I couldn’t escape. I didn't know where he was until I saw him rushing at you. "

Lizzy would tell Fitzwilliam about her barefoot trek someday, but not today. He had dealt with enough.

"Collingwood and his men grabbed me just outside your house. I hadn’t anticipated that you’d be working at the bridal shop and thought you would likely be at home."

"Mom had a big idea about a white sale of sorts on Black Friday. I've been helping out some and couldn't refuse when she was expecting such a big day. I've seen her. I guess that she'll be fine. Right now, she doesn't remember what happened to her."

She quickly informed him what her mother could not remember?the bridal shop to the van ride?and she related what she had done to Leo and Collingwood. She reported it agent to agent, with professional detachment.

They were both still for a long moment, reckoning with what he had been shared. He gestured for her to hand him the tote bag and then reached inside and took out his phone. "Huh, they didn't destroy it. Maybe they thought they could learn something from it. It still has a charge…a little, anyway."

"What happened in that building, Fitzwilliam?"

"You can guess. I got free for a few minutes and managed to kill two of the men. But that still left Collingwood, Rook, and Leo. Collingwood promised me that I would live long enough to watch you die." His voice choked and he had to clear his throat before continuing. "He had Rook tie me, beat me, snap two of my fingers."

He looked at his phone?only as a goad to forgetfulness and an incitement to thought—and then looked up at her. "Tactically, he should have killed me. Killed you. Killed your mother. Been done with it, with us. But in the end, he was like his avatar, like Wickham. He didn't want to just defeat us…me. He desired total ruin. He wanted our living misery as much or more than he wanted our death.Helost,he'sdead—only because winning wasn't enough."

Fitzwilliam caught her eyes, and his own burned bright for a moment as he regarded her."Andbecause he had no true conception of the Fury he kidnapped from the bridal shop."

"Andbecause Collingwood had no conception of what spies might do when they're in love," she finished quietly.

He put the phone on the top of his blanket and nodded. “None." His eyes were beginning to droop, but he added, smiling sleepily,

Lizzy kissed his forehead as she patted his chest. She felt her own exhaustion keenly. "Not at you,neverat you. Sleep, love. Sleep."

He put his hand on hers. "You, too. Go home, and take a long shower. Wash some of tonight away. Sleep. Until tomorrow."

***

Sunday, November 29

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