Page 100 of Pride, Prejudice, & Pretense

The realization of those hopes had never seemed farther away, the dreams more vulnerable.

She wiped her eyes.

Charlie stuck his head back in the room, a question on his face. Lizzy nodded and gestured for him to come in. "Help me up, then help me walk down the hall, please. I want to visit Karen. Have you seen her this morning?"

He shook his head and smiled. "No, I came straight to your room. But a moment ago, when I stepped out into the hall, the nurse told me that they'd reduced her sedation. She’s awake and has been for a while. 'Strong like a horse,' were the nurse's exact words. Said she’s not easy to sedate."

With his assistance, Lizzy was able to make her way to Karen’s room. Just as at Lizzy’s door, two guards stood outside it.

"Can you make it the rest of the way?" Charlie asked.

The walk had left her slightly winded and reminded her that the blisters hidden by her hospital socks were not completely healed, but she nodded. "I can do it. Thanks, Charlie. I’ll see you later." She pulled her sweater tight around her, pushed the door open, and went inside.

Karen looked very different from the hooded, goggled, and booted agent Lizzy remembered from the last time she saw her. Now she wore a pink hospital gown with a profusion of wires attaching her to a horde of machines. Her face was pale and her eyes dark. But she turned her head tentatively and smiled, weak but big, as Lizzy opened the door. Her eyes were slightly glassy.

A small boy, a toddler, his striped shirt a bit too small for him, his tummy showing below the shirt's bottom, sat on the edge of the bed with his short, thick legs swinging back and forth. A small black-haired woman sat in a chair next to the bed. She turned to look at Lizzy, her eyes kind.

"Elizabeth," Karen said softly, her voice thick and raw, "come in. This is my son, Ricky, and my ex-sister-in-law, Philippa."

When Lizzy walked into the room, Philippa stood and gestured for her to take her chair. The pain in her ribs and feet made Lizzy gratefully accept the offer.

"Hi, Philippa. Nice to meet you. Hi, Ricky!"

The little boy smiled at Lizzy sweetly. He seemed to be at that age where he understood more words than he could speak. "Hi," he said bashfully.

Philippa took him into her arms and laughed as she stationed him deftly on her cocked hip?a practiced move. "He's not great with changes, new things."

Lizzy chuckled. "I understand." She realized she had used Charlie’s phrase from earlier, again with a double meaning.

Philippa looked at Lizzy appraisingly over Ricky's head while brushing his uneven bangs back from his forehead. "Soyou're a CIA agent…I mean the TV kind, not the office kind like Karen." She flashed a quick grin, proof that the remark was more joking than serious.

"Believe me, your sister-in-law isnotan office agent! She's the real deal. I wouldn't be here if she wasn't."

Philippa’s expression changed to an impressed smile as she shifted her gaze to Karen. "She's like baklava?she's got layers! Sweet layers. If only my idiot brother had been able to see that." She glanced down at Ricky, but he was rapt, toying with the collar of her blouse, not paying attention to the adults' talk.

Karen waved her hand at Philippa. "It's not all his fault. I felt useless in the office, and I brought that useless feeling home with me too often. We're both to blame."

Judging by her frown, her sister-in-law did not agree.

Ricky twisted in her arms, wanting to get down. She released him, making sure he was balanced before letting go of him. He toddled over to Lizzy and put a chubby hand on her knee. Grinning up at her, he looked into her eyes with a purity only a child could manage. He had blue-gray eyes and white teeth, although she noted chocolate at the corners of his mouth. Lizzy put her hand on top of his. A soft feeling welled up inside her, soft but deep and strong.Daughters or sons.She patted Ricky's hand with hers, imagining Fitzwilliam’s dark eyes in a small, chocolatey face.

"So how are you feeling, Karen?" she asked.

"Loopy. Still druggy, I guess. I had it in my head that Agent Darcy was in my room…"

"Hewashere, Karen,” Philippa said. “But it was the other day. One of the nurses told me he came in as soon as you were out of surgery and stable. According to her, he talked to you, although she only saw him through the window in the door. She didn't hear anything he said."

Karen nodded, squinting as if that would bring back the memory. "Oh, I do…kind of remember that. He was thanking me." She glanced at Lizzy, blushing. "Either he looks as good as he sounded on the phone or those drugs were working on me even more than I knew. It was like he was surrounded by light."

"Yeah," Philippa said, her voice tinged with dreaminess, "I saw him after I arrived. In the hall. Even haggard, upset, he looks as good as you remember."

Karen blinked as she considered Lizzy, who had said nothing during the exchange but had looked away while the others spoke. "When you said he wastaken…You?"

Lizzy nodded once with a small, sad smile.He loves me, and he's gone.

"Lucky girl," she said, and her sister-in-law nodded her agreement.

Picking up Ricky again, Philippa announced, "We're going to leave now. This one needs a nap, and so does his mom. We'll be back this afternoon, Karen." She held the child close to the bed so Karen could kiss his cheek.

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