Page 30 of Choices

Matty walks to the passenger door of a bright green Ferrari and I can't help but laugh. Of course, he would drive this thing.

The drive into the city is short, and halfway, Matty reaches over and leisurely runs the back of his forefinger up and down the outsideof my thigh, as if he subconsciously has to touch me. The gesture reminds me of Rico at soccer practice and I can't help but smile.

Matty tells me all about the club he runs with Rico. He helped him pick out the location - in a multistory bank from the 1800s. Each floor has a slightly different theme and DJ. It was meant to be just a front for their money laundering and illegal activities, but it's a resounding success as a club, and they could retire on its income alone. He helped design each floor and I can hear the pride in his voice.

So I tell him how incredible it sounds, and how incredible he is.

He beams at the praise, his wide grin popping out his dimples and making my insides squirm.

I wonder if he has a praise kink. I laugh to myself a little, wondering in what scenario I can call him a 'good boy' to gauge his reaction.

When we pull up to the club, a line of party-goers is already lined up in front and wrapped around the block.

Matty pulls up to the curb, gets out, and tosses his keys at a bouncer. There's no valet, but he's the manager, so I guess he gets special treatment. I get out to join him but he's looking down at me with a mix between a frown and a pout on his face.

"What's wrong?" I ask, suddenly nervous.

"I wanted to open the door for you."

I can't help but laugh out loud. I thought it was something serious. I grab his bicep and loop my arm with his.

"I'm sorry. Next time."

I'm suddenly very aware of everyone in the line staring. Some of them recognize Matty, and they shoot me curious looks. We mustlook strange - Matty in his high-end tailored suit, me in an oversized cardigan. Matty all tall and gorgeous, me all short and frumpy.

But tonight, I said 'fuck it'. I'm here for me, not how we look or what others might think. It's liberating. I've been so concerned with what other moms think about me and how I reflect Alan, I'd developed terrible anxiety any time I left the house.

The fake friendly looks from the other moms in the parent pickup lanes. Sally down the road, always out running and skinny as ever. My mother's sometimes passive-aggressive, sometimes outrightly aggressive comments on my weight or appearance.

But old Hannah didn't ask if she was good enough for the world. Old Hannah asked if the world was good enough for her. And tonight I'm stepping out as Old Hannah. Old Hannah, New Hannah, Hannah reborn.

I strut proudly through the doors the bouncers hold open for us with my head held high. I have the hottest guy in here on MY arm. Well, one of the three hottest.

"Are Santiago and Rico here?"

Matty nods and smiles at someone as we pass by them. "Yep. Rico's waiting for you at the bar and Santiago's downstairs."

"What's downstairs?"

"Not something someone as sweet as you should worry about." He says with a smile and wink. I take it to mean mafia business so I leave it alone. I can understand their hesitancy to let me fully in. We've known each other for all of a few weeks. The fact that they were thinking of letting me into their opponent's financials was a step, but it's not letting me into their financials.

We enter what Iimagine was the foyer when this building was still a bank. It's large and open, and marble lines the floor as well as the wall. In the middle is a reverse horseshoe-shaped counter that must have been where the bank tellers worked out of. Currently, it's a bar.

In the middle of the horseshoe is a woman in a cage. Wearing a sexy prisoner's uniform and dancing provocatively, a sexy nod to the history of the building.

"Matty! This is amazing!!" I coo, taking in the scene and looking at everything around me. Patrons clamber around us, eager to get inside and drink and dance.

To the left is a room where they held safety deposit boxes, the copper boxes still lining all three walls, but with lighting that is bright and modern. One bar is set up along one long side and high-top tables scatter the rest of the location, giving patrons a place to talk away from the noise if that's their vibe.

Matty chats with one of the bartenders, while I hold onto his arm and take in the sights around me. He really is brilliant. I can see why this is one of the top clubs in the city. It perfectly combines the glamor of the 20s with modern aesthetic, with lighting that makes everyone look good, a fun festive feel, and hot bartenders.

Everything about it was thought through carefully and masterfully executed.

I'm irrationally proud of Matthew Richardson. I tug on his lapel and lean up on my toes.

"This is amazing. I'm so proud of you, Matthew."

I feel a shiver run through him and he closes his eyes. Definitely a praise kink.

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