Page 92 of Choices

"Rico went to go get her but Santi..."

I swallow.

I know.

The likelihood that either one of them makes it out alive are...not good.

I slam my head back against the pillow and cry. For the first time in my entire adult life, I cry.

The love of my life, the only woman to ever see me for a man, my only hope at a happily-ever-after will die today, if she's not already gone.

I check my heart, and while it's aching, it's not stopped beating, which means she must still be alive. Her and my hearts are so intertwined. mine will surely stop when hers does. Suddenly, the idea of what she'll have to endure before she dies has me bolting upright and vomiting all over the floor.

Matty simply rubs my shoulder before hitting the call button on the bed.

"I know, man. I know." He whispers.

Suddenly, I look up at him with alarm.

"I went and got the kids from school. They're safe at Diego's, thinking they're just having a fun sleepover."

I wipe the back of my mouth before laying my head back down.

The nurse comes in, mumbling something about anesthesia making some patients sick, hands Matty a sick bag for next time and leaves. Of course, she has no idea the love of my life might be getting raped or beaten right now.

I've prayed twice in my entire life. The day my mother tried to end me and now.

I pray that He keeps her safe. I pray He doesn't take her from me. I pray He doesn't make me live in a world that Hannah's no longer a part of. I pray he doesn't orphan three of the best little people I've ever known.

I close my eyes and let the tears simply fall down my temples.

Matty's right. I can barely sit up, let alone leave to find her.

So I cry, and I pray, and I wait for my heart to finally stop beating.

Chapter forty-two

Hannah

I'm fucked.

I'm a blubbering, shaking mess.Watching Santiago's body jolt with the impact of the bullets will forever haunt my nightmares.

I can't stop crying, thinking that he's lying there dead on my floor, and Rico and Matty none the wiser.

I can't stop crying, thinking about my kids waiting in the parent pickup when I don't show. Their sad, confused little faces. What will they do? Will the principal call Alan instead? Fuck, would he pick them up from school? The school doesn't know we're divorced. They don't know about the boys. I cry harder that we didn't add the boys to the kids' approved adults list.

I can't stop crying, thinking about what will happen to them after I'm gone. Will Alan take them? Will my parents? If I had to choose, I'd want them to stay with Diego and Lauren, riding horses and four-wheelers to their hearts' content.

What will Matty do when he realizes Rico, Santiago and I are dead?

It dawns on me with shocking clarity that for once in a long time I want to live. I want to fight for the future I could have with my boys and kids.

Except Santiago's probably already gone.

I wipe my nose with the back of my sweatshirt. At least I'm wearing a sweatshirt and leggings today and not a dress.

The good thing, though, is that they didn't gag, or blindfold,or zip tie my hands. Clearly, they expected I wouldn't put up much of a fight. And I really didn't.

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