Page 46 of Choices

Alan and Kathleen make their way through the house to the backyard. Alan doesn't spare me a glance but Kathleen at least has the decency to shoot me an apologetic look. At least she has the common sense to know what a fucked up scenario this is.

That is until I catch my mom's face when she sees Alan and Kathleen. Her lip curls in a snarl of disgust, but then it's directed towards me and disgust mixes with pity and disappointment. As if it's somehow my fault Alan brought his mistress.

I'm sure this is retaliation for the picture of Matty and me. Fuck it, let him play his stupid mind games. I couldn't care less what every single person here thinks besides my kids.

I'm able to entertain guests inside so I don't have to see Alan and Kathleen.

An hour into the party and it's time to cut the cake so hopefully we can hurry this shit along and kick everyone out.

I peek in the backyard but don't see Alan. I check the driveway and front yard, before heading upstairs. I hear them before I see them. They're fucking. In my bed.

Anger and hurt and some emotion I'd rather not name settles deep in my stomach like acid.

A glutton for punishment, I open the door to our bedroom. Alan's pale ass is first to greet me. Next is Kathleen's legs up against his shoulders.

Kathleen sees me first and gasps, freaking out. She pushes against Alan in an attempt to shove him off. He doesn't relent, though, merely peaking over his shoulder at me, continuing to piston his hips into his mistress.

Disgust and repulsion lace my voice when I say, "Your daughter is waiting for you to blow out her candles."

Kathleen covers her face in horror.

My lovely husband, on the other hand, says, "I'll be down when I'm finished."

Christ. What a piece of work. I give Kathleen a sympathetic look. She may be getting money and a free apartment, but she has to put up with his narcissistic ass.

On a huff, I close the door behind me, walk to the stereo, and crank up the music so that hopefully no one hears them. Thankfully, no one seems to notice.

The adrenaline of catching my husband fucking his mistress wears off and I can't help the shaking. I find Amelia and ask her to take over for a minute. I need to catch my breath.

She sees the obvious panic in my eyes and of course, agrees. Bless her she doesn't ask questions.

I grab my phone and go to the garage. I sit on an old bucket of baseballs and stare at my phone. I want to call the guys. I want their comfort, the peace they bring me. I want their love and affection.

It's so easy with them. They're attractedto me without reserve. They want nothing more than to treat me and my kids right, and I keep throwing up obstacles for them.

No. I'm not ready to talk to them about this. One, they would probably kill Alan. Two, I'm faintly aware that tonight changes things. I've been trying to do right. I'm not a cheater. I was content letting Alan have his cake and eat it too. But the first time I do something for myself, like go to the club, and this is his retaliation? This isn't having his cake and eating it too. This is the biggest 'fuck you' I could imagine.

I just need to get through tonight. Celebrate Viv's birthday, finish the party, and get my kids in bed. I can fall apart or worry about what this means tomorrow. I just need to get through today.

Settled, I head back out to the party.

Alan and Kathleen join us a few minutes later, making it obvious what they'd been doing. Kathleen's hair is all fucked up and Alan didn't bother tucking his shirt back in.

Because what's the point of fucking your mistress in front of your wife if everyone around doesn't know it?

Luckily, the kids have no idea what's going on. Jack and Viv are riding high on sugar and party vibes, and even Aiden's friend Eli came over, so the two of them have been hanging out, laughing.

The only one with an inkling that something is wrong is Amelia. I'm sure I owe her an explanation. I'll just have to text it to her later.

We all sing 'Happy Birthday', Viv blows out the candles, Amelia and I pass out the cake, Viv opens a million presents, and finally people start to make excuses to leave.

Alan and Kathleen leave shortly after the cake, Thank God.

Some of the adults give me pitying looks, but honestly?I can't be bothered. My husband's a douche, but my three gangsters are anything but. That thought puts a smile on my face.

As the night wears down, I can tell Jack and Viv are overstimulated. Aiden's friend spends the night, and Amelia helps me to wrangle Jack and Viv during the night-time routine.

I give her a tight hug and a heartful thanks for her help on her way out. She gives me a look saying 'This isn't over' and I know I owe her an explanation in the morning. Right now, though, I'm bone tired.

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