Page 70 of Cruel Dreams

“Someplace special. Someplace where I can talk to you in private. But first...” I reach between her legs, feel the love that I left behind. I slip my fingers inside her, and she moans in agreement.

We make love slowly, and I memorize her every feature, her every sound.

I don’t know why I tortured myself asking about our future. What’s in that file I so nonchalantly threw onto the dresser will ensure that I won’t be sharing any kind of future with her.

What could have been. That’s what these past five years have been about.

What could have been if my parents hadn’t been killed.

What could have been if I wasn’t rich.

What could have been if I hadn’t had such faith in Ash’s friendship.

What could have been if Stella and I were normal people living normal lives.

But we’re not.

We fell in love, and even from prison, Ash is punishing us for it.

We step out of the Crowne and Stella hums in excitement. She grips my hand, closes her eyes, and breathes in a deep lungful of the cool, afternoon air. It won’t be long before it snows, but for now, the weather is perfect for what I have planned. My heart breaks a little, watching her lift her face to the sun.

We walk to the bus stop, our gates easy, almost carefree.

Her worst is over.

Mine has yet to come.

I had to research the route we needed. The bus, the train, another bus. Just like last time. Stella would know the way if I asked, but this is my surprise.

She looks cute in a skirt and loose sweater, the glitter in her cast catching the sunlight, and for once I dressed down in jeans and a t-shirt from the clothing stash I kept in the Honeymoon Suite. A messenger bag bumps at my hip, and we look like a normal couple spending the afternoon together.

Except for the paparazzo who tries to snap our pictures without us seeing. I hope Stella doesn’t notice. It’s the exact thing she’s trying to get away from.

The train is just as I remembered, the working class on the way home after a long day at their jobs. The tired Black woman and her daughter aren’t here. Five years have come and gone.I should have helped them when I had the chance. What could a hundred dollars have done? Two hundred? A thousand? I’ll never know.

Stella’s not stupid, and we’re still miles away from the pumpkin patch when she beams at me.

We get off at the nearest bus stop, and Stella reaches onto her toes to kiss me. I kiss her back, tangling my fingers in her hair.

“You really liked it. I wasn’t sure.”

“You’ll have no idea how much you touched my heart, how much you changed me. How much you helped me heal after my parents’ deaths. Ash robbed us of so much time. I can’t think of where we’d be now if he hadn’t taken you.”

“Then don’t. Only look ahead.”

That’s easy for her to say. My best memories are hidden in the past. I won’t make any new ones.

Not without Stella.

We walk through the festival and it’s déjà vu. The kids yelling and screaming in joy, the parents chasing after them. The food trucks and all they have to offer. The bounce houses, the petting zoo. Nothing has changed, but everything is different.

I wait until we’re settled by the pond and we’ve fed the ducks. Parents start to take their children home and the pumpkin patch quiets, the faint scent of popcorn lingering in the cooling breeze.

Stella leans against me and sighs in contentment. There’s a stillness about her, a peace that wasn’t there before. Ash is behind bars and she doesn’t have to hide anymore. She doesn’t have to look over her shoulder in fear that one of Ash’s hitmen is going to try to kill her because of what she knows.

She watches the ducks glide along the smooth surface of the pond.

“Stella.”

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